EVENT 011

[sticksandbonesmods]

LIFE HAS MANY DOORS, ED-BOY

A DOORWAY OF CONFUSION

The residents of Aldric’s Grove have been down in the dumps recently, haven’t they? Whose fault could that be? Is it the fault of Wolfwood, who started the catastrophic bonfire? The Forest, who took over the body of Elsword and set him to the slaughter? Perhaps it’s the fault of Vash, who disappeared and came back with a corpse, or Beat, who went berserker-mode on everybody. Maybe it’s Gnosis’ general mopey energy spreading like a plague, or the fact that Luca has had the bar closed up for so long, or Pure Vanilla’s forays into his past. Why are you all so depressed, wonders a spirit in the forest, a spirit who has watched you for a long time. Why are you all staying indoors and not talking to each other?

This spirit knows what to do to cheer everybody up. A fun little prank, an event that will spark joy and lead you to somewhere vast and unknowable. Yes… the spirit has been here before, always observing you, even if you don’t often see it. It is the same spirit who hosted that masquerade all the way back in October before diving feet-first into a sinkhole. It is… a walking skeleton by the name of Mr. Bone-Jangles, and he is casting a spell.

At midnight, the sound of rattling bones rings out across the Grove, alongside a chime that sounds like the bell that hangs over the General Store’s door, and then a distinctly warped sound like trying to listen to music underwater. Were you to look outside your windows, you’ll spot a skeleton dressed like a cashier dancing around the well and the two statues next to it, movin’ and groovin’ to the beat of his own drum. Should you try to get outside through a door or a window, however…

You’ll wind up somewhere else. Not where you expected that door to lead, certainly. Your bedroom door might take you to your bathroom, or to your neighbour’s room, or to Ydalir’s tent. Your window might have plopped you right into the church, or the clinic, or one of the many weight-lifting rooms in the rec center. Should you try to leave the new location you’ve found yourself in, you’ll be in a similar spot — these doors also don’t go where they’re supposed to. The doorways have been scrambled, but at least — once they’ve been walked through — their randomized location is permanently set. If the inn doors lead to the bar, they’ll continue to lead to the bar.

Should you manage, by some miracle, to make it outside? Mr. Bone-Jangles will simply wave his phalanges at you and disappear into a puff of smoke.

This enchantment, or perhaps “prank” will last for the month. Good luck, Aldric’s Grove! Merry April Fool’s Month!

SAVINGS, SAVINGS, SAVINGS!

One door in the Grove, and only one, will lead you to a completely new space. A space named Alpha Mart, designated by the golden sign. It is, for all intents and purposes, a fairly advanced (by Grove standards) grocery store, and it carries… products of the uncanny and unusual. Once you’re inside, you can’t leave via the door you came from — it’s up to you to find a different exit, because that entrance door will simply plop you back inside.

What kind of products are here, one might ask? Well, the produce section contains the, erm, expected yet unexpected fruits and veggies, which at times seem to be alive and have minds of their own; the carrots will stop mid-yoga session to run away from you, the beetroots will try to bite, the raspberries have tiny eyes, and the tomatoes act much like lemmings, throwing themselves off of the displays at your feet. Nets in a tall, warped basket near the produce section can be used to catch anything that moves, and once caught, they’ll rest like normal food items would in your cart or basket or hands or pockets. All of these are perfectly edible despite the moral implications!

Head on to aisle fifteen, where the snacks are, and you may be pleasantly surprised by the great savings (100% Off!) on blueberry-flavoured pretzel bites, 100% salt peanuts, fried sunflower petal chips, and cookies shaped like Moder’s head. The deli section is a delight of chocolate-flavoured cheeses and lunchmeats with your faces printed on them. Even though some displays clip out of reality, rest assured, you’ll be fine to walk through those spots. The hard-working staff of skeletons are working on cleaning it up. Speaking of cleaning up, do you need something to wash your sins away with? How about some Plausible Deniability?

The walk-in freezers nearby are pleasantly deep and chilly, and should you walk through them, you might find yourself spat out somewhere else. …still within the Alpha Mart, of course. You didn’t think you could leave through a twisting maze of soda bottles, did you? Come on.

FUN 100% GUARANTEED OR YOUR SHELLS BACK!

cw in first image link: eyes, trypophobia

After making it through the freezer aisle and its twisting, cold maze of products, you’ll arrive at the, uh… um… the eyeball space! Anyway, let’s quickly move on from there.

Quite a ways out of the eyeball space, where the walls blink at you and follow your every move, is something of a playground indoors, featuring both your run-of-the-mill slides and waterslides where the water is dish soap and the swimming pool at the bottom is white chocolate. Try not to get any in your mouth; it doesn’t taste great! Inner tubes are provided by a skeleton staff member wearing a speedo, who also functions as a lifeguard should you drown in chocolate. Your grocery products can safely be set in a cubby nearby for “purchasing” later. Or you can use them between slide sessions. They are free, after all.

When you’re done with the slides, heading through a side door will lead you into a different section of the Alpha Mart, where the products continue to be bizarre and sometimes-sentient. Anything and everything you can imagine is here, unless it makes sense, in which case it’s completely absent from the store. At the tail end is the checkouts, where Mr. Bone-Jangles stands in his cashier uniform, miming a tired retail worker. He’ll send you through with your products after you pretend to pay him and will refuse actual attempts to pay, and then the exit door to the Alpha Mart will be revealed on the back wall. If you walk through it…

It spits you out in the middle of the Grove, and your silly “purchased” products are gone. If you want to go back in, you’re going to have to find the door again. The entrance should be in the same location it just was, at least.

…or maybe, after all of that, you need to wash the chocolate off and take a nap.

SPARK NOTES

CLICK TO EXPAND!

A DOORWAY OF CONFUSION

A skeleton has made the doorways stop working properly. Your doors and windows and other entryways now lead to random locations within the Grove. At least once they're locked in place, they don't change. Try not to walk in on your friends changing!

SAVINGS, SAVINGS, SAVINGS!

Welcome to Alpha Mart! There are sentient produce items and other weird products. You're going to be here a while, considering the way out is nowhere to be found. Enjoy shopping! Remember to eat the 100% Salt Peanuts while you're here!

FUN 100% GUARANTEED OR YOUR SHELLS BACK!

This isn't just a grocery store. It also contains slides, chocolate pools, and ten thousand other things that are vaguely horrifying and weird. The way out is through the checkouts. It's a shame that you can't take your products into the Grove with you.

OOC

Happy April Fool’s, Sticks & Bones! Casual modly reminder that we’re allowing you to make up whatever you want for this event due to the nonsense nature of it. Disclaimer: Neither of the mods have been to the Meow Wolf this event is based on. We’re sorry for inconsistencies but something something copyright free use don’t sue us thanks. OOC Plotting Lives Here if you'd like to plot out nonsense alongside actual plot-important things, or just see an update of the recent lore from last month. Have fun!

UPDATES

❖ None yet!

SUBMISSIONS

QUESTIONS
INVESTIGATIONS
PAST-LIFE PLOTTING

(CODE)

Comments

[lupusxylem]

A) Uninvited Guest | The Doors(tm)

[Perhaps unsurprising to most of the Grove's residents is the fact that Wolfwood has been conspicuously absent since his network post announcing his return. Sure, he's been...around some, but nowhere near as much as previously. He's only ever seen very occasionally at the Church or hanging around the river. He hasn't shown up at the Inn at all, much less any of the other buildings...and for the foreseeable future, he intended to keep it that way.

Well, Mr. Bone-Jangles has had other plans, and Wolfwood is damn lucky that he's been trying to get used to using crutches over a wheelchair when he's feeling up to it, because crippling depression isn't going to stop him from trying to stubbornly walk, even if he's not doing that so much as he is hobbling around. The Forest must be tickled pink to watch him struggle, now that he's one-legged.

Too bad that the law of silliness cares not for how Wolfwood is feeling, or how people feel about him, because the moment he steps through the door connecting the living space to he and Vash's shared bedroom-

He is in...your bedroom! Or your house! Inn room, perhaps? He isn't going to know until he sees someone else sitting (or standing) there, giving the distinct feeling that someone has broken into his home, and not the other way around. It's enough to make even Wolfwood nearly jump out of his skin.]

Christ-! What the-?

B) Alpha Mart | Alpha Mart (the silly prompt)

[Attempts to...actually leave whomever's premises he's barged into will eventually deposit Wolfwood unceremoniously into one Alpha Mart, a store that is going to become his own personal hell for the next...while.

He's found himself in an aisle that appears to be full of pet products. Pet doors you can affix to your own doors that let you in, but never let you back out. Invisible litter boxes that literally put the mess out of sight, out of mind, at least until you accidentally discover it again in the worst manner imaginable. Alpha Mart even has actual live animals for sale here that- upon Wolfwood passing them- realizes aren't exactly what he'd even be confident classifying as an animal. There are beta fish in cups that are just eyeballs floating around with little fins attached, and birds that make human screaming sounds when they chirp.

The Priest doesn't stop until he's come across a bin of tennis balls, seemingly normal in every way...until he picks one up and it splits down the middle and starts barking at him.

He clenches it in his fist, closing his eyes.]

Why.

C) The Eyeball Space | (The slightly angsty prompt because he has to have a little sprinkle of that)

[The moment Wolfwood manages to drag himself into a maze seemingly made up entirely of faces and eyes is when he's had enough.

He starts to find a nearby wall to lean against for a breather, only to realize it's looking at him in a way that makes him not want to leave the relative safety of the center of the floor. He's trying his damnest not to get overwhelmed, but it's hard not to feel like he's tripping massive balls just by being in here. The only solution for it is to keep walking forward, to try to find some way out of it-

Until he bumps into someone in the semi-gloom, causing him to quickly readjust himself so he doesn't pitch to the side and fall flat on his ass. He sucks in a frustrated breath through his teeth, nearly screaming at whoever it was, but...he manages to reign it in. The last thing anyone would want to do is help him in general right now, but less so if he rolls up yelling in their faces.]

Please, god, tell me you've seen a door around here.

D) Wildcard

[Hit me up on discord or my ooc plotting post if none of these prompts work thank u]

B

[soundsurfing]

'Cause God don't exist here, yo.

[ Unlike Wolfwood, Beat is having a BLAST with one of the tennis balls. He's been throwing it as hard as he can down the aisle, then ripping after it in Werewolf form. He's currently got his clenched in one hand and it's whimpering cause. Bro. Save it. Beat's voice turns teasing. ]

How long you been in, blood? You new meat, or you been wanderin' these halls for a while?

[ And he drops the gangster tone instantly, tail wagging. ]

Cause it ain't so bad, you seen the veggies in the steam bath?? They yell at you if you look too long like you peepin' or some shit, it's wild.

[lupusxylem]

[It would be far less weird if the tennis ball weren't whimpering at him, yeah-]

Just got here, actually. Which means you're tellin' me there's more.

[A lot more, as a matter of fact!

Wolfwood sighs, turning the still yapping tennis ball over in his hand before he

lets the intrusive thoughts win and throws it down the aisle. Both to let off some steam and because he knows Beat is going to haul ass after it.

The ball screams as it flies away.]

[soundsurfing]

There's tons more. You gonna need a hard damn nap after seein' somma it.

[ The moment the ball is flying through the air, all conversation is forgotten. Beat drops his own ball, which lays there and somehow manages to just exude relief in waves, and rips after the ball like God himself lit his tail on fire.

The ball is going to do more than scream as Beat lunges, muzzle opening, and catches the ball before it hits the ground. Snap, goes those teeth. The ball yelps, which sounds hilarious when Beat shakes his head vigorously from side to side in rough snaps to try and shred his prey.

Then, drooling aggressively around the ball, he calmly trots back to Wolfwood and spits it out at his feet. Then pauses. ]

That's uncool, yo.

[lupusxylem]

Is it? I'm just havin' a little bit of fun over here. Why should you get to have it all?

[He's had a hard month, Beat. Let him live a little!

He doesn't go to grab the ball again just yet though, leaving it where it ended up, rolling around on the floor covered in drool and whining.]

[soundsurfing]

You gotta warn a brotha 'fore you toss a ball!

[ He stares down at the ball intensely, however, then up to Wolfwood. Then down at the ball again.

His tail wags before he "Ah fuck it" and turns into a dog.

Then does a play bow, slapping the ground with his paws aggressively at Wolfwood, barking and nosing the ball to roll it to his feet. ]

[lupusxylem]

[OH god hello, dog. He's dog now. Wolfwood raises a brow as Beat excitedly tries to encourage him to throw the ball. Eventually, he'll sigh and gesture down at it.]

Gonna have to give me a hand. Paw.

[Sorry, he can't bend down easily with his leg....yaknow.]

So how come the rest of the...animal people here can't turn into animals like you?

[Wolfwood stop being racist at Terrans challenge]

[soundsurfing]

[ Wolfwood's comment gets interpreted wrong for a hot second and Beat smacks his hand with his paw: GIVE YOU A HAND?! SHAKE?!

Wait no. He wants the ball. Beat bites the thing - it squeaks in protest please no more - and then drops the wet sad barking ball into Wolfwoods hand instead of his paw. ]

Cause I ain't from their world, yo. Ima Werewolf. I'm cursed to be half Dog, not born that way.

[ Said while Beat backs up eagerly, all four paws tapping aggressively at the ground, eyes locked on the ball. ]

[lupusxylem]

So how'd that happen, then? Did a Werewolf bite you?

[Or maybe it was just magic, Wolfwood, you don't know-

He will toss the ball again, except this time instead of throwing it down the aisle, he throws it up towards the ceiling to see if Beat can catch it on the way back down.]

B

[succiduous]

[At some point, his bedroom door at the lab led to the General Store which led to some random empty inn room whose bathroom door led to Wolfwood's living room (pet your dog while he was there btw) and then when he left out the window in a fit of frustration, he wound up going through like thirteen more doors and now they're here. It seems like the whole Grove is showing up in this place. Gnosis has spotted several people so far.

That fucking skeleton, he swears to God.

He is holding one of those cups of "betta fish" and trying to tell if the fins are glued on or if they're actually part of the animal. Hm.]

This doesn't seem to be one of the Forest's games, judging by how... relatively harmless everything is. I haven't heard the False God barking at us to play by some esoteric rules, and the skeletons being back tells me that we're probably not expected to do anything other than...

...shop?

[lupusxylem]

[The fish in the cup is sort of just floating and spinning around, occasionally rolling its "eye" up to look at Gnosis, though it's hard to tell if that's what's really happening, or if its just turning around. Can it even...see?

Wolfwood glances up when he hears Gnosis approach, still holding that barking tennis ball. He does sort of maneuver it in his hand so its "mouth" is covered by his palm so the sound is a bit muffled so they can actually speak, though.]

The...skeletons? What?

[Sorry Gnosis he was not here for that-]

[succiduous]

[Can it see? He wonders the same, and paces a few shelves down to grab the 100% PREMIUM FISH FOOD but they're, uh, drops that appear to be... eyedrops... so that's not entirely helpful. He was hoping for pellets... ah, perhaps these salted spiders will work.

...

Gross.]

Ah, that's right. The skeletons showed up over "Halloween" — we Terrans call it Witch's Feast, but it's a celebration of cartoon horror where everyone dresses up in costumes and hosts parties. They put on a masquerade for us that lasted the entire month. To be honest, it was one of the more enjoyable events here. Strange, but not uncomfortable. They seemed to want us to have fun.

[Puts a salted spider in the water. Hey fishy do you see this.]

[lupusxylem]

[The fish...ball? Eyeball? Sort of rolls around in the water, its little fins swishing as it turns over to roll up and look at the spider that Gnosis put in with it.

The spider just floats there. The eyeballfish has no mouth.]

Uh huh...so you're sayin' the skeletons set all of this up too?

[succiduous]

[...he wants this thing. (Bummer for him he can't have it.) Anyway, he fishes the spider out and throws it in a nearby trashcan that's shaped like a funnel, and then just. Holds onto this fish thing. And also grabs the eyedrop food for it.]

I happened to be up late enough to catch their leader doing some sort of ritual dance, yes. [Gnosis says all of this like it's perfectly normal. He's tired of this place, but the skeletons are genuinely friendly.] Mizuki may have photos on his phone of the last time they were here. I wonder if they're further within the store currently — you might be able to see them.

[lupusxylem]

[Even if he can't keep it, the fish thing is here to stay for the time being. It is also watching Gnosis pointedly now because it saw him pick up the eyedrops.

Give. Gib food to da fishie.]

I guess it's better they're just bein' harmless annoyances compared to the alternative.

[Where the annoyances are very deadly. Those aren't so nice.]

...you gonna keep that?

[Addressing the fishball in the room.]

[succiduous]

I'd like to research it more closely, so I think I will. Besides, an animal shouldn't be kept in a tiny cup like this.

[Hi eyeballfish. He loves you. :)]

I don't blame you for not being curious about the other items in here. They're quite strange, though.

[And then he heads into the section where the fucking store glitches out of existence, come on Wolfwood we're going into the stretched PNG.]

[lupusxylem]

[Eyeballfish loves YOU! Eyeballfish is also floating around in a circle as if to say please feed me, please drop eyedrops onto my eyeball this is definitely how I eat-

Wolfwood watches as Gnosis turns and heads for just...a glitching place in the store, which definitely doesn't seem like where they should be going, but oh well. He'll follow him anyway, it's not like he wants to be stuck here by himself.]

Less that I ain't curious, and more that I'm worried I might never find the exit. Every door I go into takes me deeper, I feel like.

A, and I'm sorry

[forwander]

[Welcome to Passenger and Sesa's bedroom. Sesa is not here right now, but Passenger sure is, and he is...

Well, he's not in a state of undress, but he's not exactly dressed either? It looks like, when Wolfwood comes in, that Passenger was attempting to get dressed.

He raises a brow. Thinks Wolfwood is here for the workshop, and not for their little studio apartment, and maybe it is sort of his fault that he's half dressed in the area they designated as a living room but also... knock? Maybe?]

Sesa is out at the moment. Can I assist you with anything?

[Completely fucking unbothered by yet another Trigun cast member seeing his tits.]

Please never be sorry I love him

[lupusxylem]

[OH god. Well at least he's not...naked? He knows some people sleep naked sometimes (read: him, it's him), so he wasn't sure what he was expecting when he hobbled straight into a room that decidedly was not his own. He was expecting to have Angelina underfoot, not Passenger half dressed looking at him like he'd grown a second head.]

I- no-

[Even though Passenger is modest, he finds himself glancing reflexively off to one side anyway. He's seen Passenger's boyfriend's claws, he does not want him to get any wrong ideas.]

I didn't mean to come in here. I was just in my house.

[forwander]

[Sesa chasing Wolfwood around would be very funny...

Anyway, Passenger doesn't seem to entirely understand what's being said. He gives up on his getting dressed for now, pulling that thin fabric over his shoulders and sitting down on the couch.]

I see. I believe you're quite a long way from your house, are you not?

[sorry wolfwood—]

[lupusxylem]

No. I mean I was literally just in my house. Like two seconds ago?

[He grimaces, adjusting himself before continuing.]

I walked through one of the doors...and showed up here. I didn't even leave the damn house!

[forwander]

...interesting. Excuse me.

["Excuse me" as in he's getting up from the couch and gesturing for Wolfwood to move out of the way with a,] Why don't you have a seat for now? [and then he's going to look and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that is not the workshop.]

...ah, indeed. That certainly is not the workshop.

[THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?]

[lupusxylem]

That's what I was tryin' to tell you.

[He will sit down though, thank you.]

...what is it out there?

[forwander]

It seems to be a bedroom. Your own, perhaps?

[Aww, our bedrooms are connected, random dude who Passenger cuddled up to once while under the effects of chocolates.]

Is that where you came from last?

[lupusxylem]

Yeah. Guess that would make sense.

[Like, duh Wolfwood]

I can go back, but I ain't so sure where I'll end up if I try to go somewhere else.