sticksandbones | crumbl cookies but in real life

... Long overdue, as I said.

[ His smile is soft and he reaches out to gently place a hand on Clotted Cream's head, petting through the strands to fix it a little, before smoothing his hand over it in a soft pet. ]

It should fit you perfectly, I do believe the magic of this place with the medallions helps.

[ Clotted Cream will also notice any buttons on it are designed in a way that he can easily use his left hand to do them up, with a little practice. ]

[ Oh, so much care has been put into this. So much thought. Not only does it suit him, but it was designed with one hand in mind outside of just collapsing the sleeve. So he can put it in easily without a prosthetic.

Clotted Cream abruptly finds his vision swimming, and he sucks in a breath, blinking in surprise. The motion causes the tears to fall, sliding down his cheeks in salty tracks. Quickly, he drops the fabric to lift his hand, wiping them away.

The stress of the last couple of days has finally caught up with him, it seems. ]

I'm-- I'm sorry. Thank you.

[ It's just so much. ]

[ Oh sweetheart. Scooting himself up further onto the bed, he reaches out to gently wrap his arms around Clotted Cream, and pull him into a soft soothing hug. A hand goes to his back to gently rub there, light circles, as he tucks the other in against him. ]

It is my pleasure, my dear. It is high time we be a little kind to ourselves, no?

[ Especially right now, when Clotted Cream needs it the most. He shh's him gently but doesn't try to get him to stop crying. Let him get it out. He needs it. Instead he just holds him and rubs his back, being support for him while he needs it. ]

[ Be kind to ourselves. It's not a notion he's ever really taken, not applying it to himself at any rate, but... Maybe it's the timing. Maybe it's that someone whom he knows genuinely cares about him is the one saying it.

He isn't used to being loved. He isn't used to being thought of.

Clotted Cream doesn't allow himself to break down as open and raw as some might. Pure Vanilla draws him in, and he presses his face to the man's shoulder, the fingers of his one remaining hand tightly clutching the blankets over his lap. There are no heart-wrenching sobs, not here. Instead, his breakdown is slow and elegant, body trembling as he quietly cries, breath shuddering. ]

[ There's something that tickles at the back of his mind. A memory of a memory. A voice, raised in anger and derision. Somehow he knows it's related to Clotted Cream, though he can't recall ever hearing it before. It makes him tighten his hold, tucking the other in and rocking him gently from side to side. Just a soft, soothing motion. ]

It is all right. Let it all out.

[ He raises a hand, leaving the other on Clotted Cream's back, to the back of his head and gently cradles it. Strokes through the strands gently. He will always thank Sesa for breaking that hug for comfort barrier, because it means he can give it to those who need it so freely now. ]

[ And let it all out, he does. In a restrained and gentle way, the bleed slow and gradual rather than quick and sharp. Clotted Cream doesn't pull away from Pure Vanilla's grasp, instead melting into it, letting himself be held in that tight and loving embrace. There's something nostalgic about it. It reminds him of his mother, back before he'd gone to live at House Custard, a time full of hazy half-memories blurred by time. But he remembers her love, despite his father trying to stamp it out of his heart. He remembers how she would console him when he'd awakened from a nightmare.

He misses his mother.

It feels like forever, but in reality it's only a minute or so. Once he feels the wound has been bled enough, Clotted Cream clears his throat politely, gently pulling back from the hold. He keeps his head tilted down, but his green eyes are made even more vibrant by the reddening of the skin around them. ]

... my apologies. I've made a mess of your clothes.

[ Normally, here would be time for a soft laugh, to lighten the mood. But he just can't call on it. He feels emotionally exhausted. Instead, he takes in a deep breath, then lets it out in a shuddering exhale, the last lingering effects of his emotional release. ]

It has been... quite some time since I was shown genuine affection. I believe that on top of everything that's happened, it was the final straw.

[ He holds him until Clotted Cream is the one to finally pull back, letting him go out of his embrace without a fuss. He reaches up to fix the hair, brush the light strands away from his face, wipe his cheeks for him gently. ]

Clothing can be washed, worry not.

[ He lets his hands down when Clotted Cream's hair is fixed, a soft frown on his face. He reaches out to take Clotted Cream's hand, settling his other hand over it. A warm touch, a soft squeeze.

He wants to say he knows. He doesn't know how he knows, but he does. That memory of a memory, the faint itch in the back of his skull. ]

I'm sorry, that must have been horrible. But I can assure you, it's all you will be shown here. And I wish to say I'm proud of you, for dealing with this. It's not an easy thing to do. But there's no shame in asking for help, if you want it.

[ Not if he needs it, if he wants it. It's a very clear distinction. Like Dark Cacao, Pure Vanilla won't coddle the other. Won't say he needs the help, because he doesn't. But it's there if he wants it. ]

[ And every little thing, Clotted Cream allows Pure Vanilla to do without a single protest. It's nice to be fussed over, despite how much a part of his mind screams to handle it himself. There is no reason to need to be prideful and perfect here, not in front of Pure Vanilla. He can let his defenses down. It's difficult, habit being hard to break, but allowing this is at least letting a small crack develop.

The other Cookie's hands feel warm and comforting around his own, and he closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing. ]

... thank you. Truly, I appreciate it more than you know.

[ Because the feeling of warmth blooming in his chest is almost overwhelming. How long has it been since someone told him that they were proud of him? He can't recall the words ever leaving his father's mouth. ]

I do not wish to be a burden, so I am trying to handle as much as I can. I did successfully make a pot of tea last night, as small a step as it may be.

So I heard, and I'm glad! It may be a small step, but it is still a step. Go at your own pace, my dear, there is no need to rush yourself.

[ Touching upon the subject he wanted to discuss anyways, seeing the journal entry and all. He squeezes Clotted Creams hand again and smiles, a tender warm look. ]

Wipe that from your thoughts. You are loved and wanted, and we are here by your side, to share in what weighs you down. Many hands make light, after all. But I understand the desire to prove to yourself you can do it on your own power. I will not push, nor pry. But we are here.

[ He will reiterate it. Clotted Cream is only a burden in his own mind. ]

[ --o-oh, he heard. Oh. How much had he heard? ]

... I am trying not to rush myself. But all the same, it is a hard habit to break.

[ He sighs, looking down at his hand clasped warmly in Pure Vanilla's. He told Dark Cacao... it's only fair that he tells Pure Vanilla, as well. Even if he has this nagging feeling, like he's told Pure Vanilla in a dream before. But even if he has, it's just that - a dream. Pure Vanilla seems like he would be open to hearing it... and, frankly, he's just so tired. ]

Back at home, in the Republic, this would be... mm. My father would not stand for it. Even in the past when I've come down with illness, I've pressed on. An injury such as this would be unforgivable. If I did not immediately get back to work, with poise and neat handwriting, I would be a poor representative of House Custard. An embarrassment.

It has been haunting my dreams the past few nights. On top of everything else, sleep has not come easy.

[ Minotaur hearing. It's very good. But he didn't listen for long. Just long enough to reassure himself his boys were there, then back to sleep the best he could.

He's quiet as he listens to Clotted Cream speak, ears perking forward to show his attention, his expression neutral.

...

Until he hears exactly what Clotted Cream is unburdening. His expression narrows into a frown, brows furrowing down. ]

... How can he treat you such, you are his child!

[ A rare moment of anger in his voice, much like it was back at the Council, when he told Clotted Cream to not disparage the good the Ancients had done. But unlike there, there's a soft touch of disbelief. He can't understand a Father who would treat their child like that. ]

[ The ferocity in Pure Vanilla's voice is briefly startling, and Clotted Cream's fingers flinch just the tiniest fraction between his hands. Not out of fear, no, but just... surprise. Pure Vanilla is the last person he would expect to hear such anger from, even if he's heard it once before. ]

... he is not my true father. I was adopted into House Custard as a child. It is now my belief that he only took me in to use me as a pawn on the political chess board, as he has no children of his own. I was brought in and given an education I could only have dreamed of otherwise, but in exchange, I was not shown affection.

[ As he said moments ago. Not an iota of affection. ]

My father does not love me. He loves only what benefits I may bring to him.

[ For a moment he worries he might have upset Clotted Cream by the way he feels those fingers flinch, and his expression soothes back down, squeezing softly to reassure him. But also relaxing his grip, so Clotted Cream can remove his hand if he desires.

For a moment longer, he's silent again, looking slightly distressed by this news, then shakes his head. ]

It is his loss, then, my dear. You are a remarkable young man. You have proven yourself not just sharp of mind, but courageous, and a true hero to Cookiekind. Without your words that day, as harsh as they were, we would not have rallied as we did. Nor would Cookies everywhere be receiving candies to bolster their own abilities and power. We would not have the strength we need to defeat Dark Enchantress Cookie.

[ He squeezes Clotted Creams hand again. ]

It matters not what he desires for you, it is what you desire for yourself. It was your merit and your abilities that got you this far. Those are things that cannot be taught.

[ Such praise. Pure Vanilla has only seen him at work in very specific situations, but even so, coming from Pure Vanilla... he knows it to be true. It was Espresso Cookie's research that brought the Magic Candies into being, but if not for him, the research never would have begun. He has been the instigator of change for all of this. The world will be a better place - no, is a better place, for what he's done to it.

A faint smile graces his lips, barely tugging at the corners, and he closes his eyes. ]

I have learned a great many things from my upbringing. They may have been for his own benefit, but I learned from them nonetheless. If matters continue as they are, he will no longer be of any concern. I am no longer tolerating my father's treatment, and he is no longer getting what he desires. I have seen to that.

[ But. ]

... but it is difficult to dismiss a lifetime of mistreatment. Thus are my dreams plagued with his presence. I predict that time will help to buffer it, but for now...

[ The smile is good but those words are even better. Clotted Cream is moving past his father and his father's treatment of him. But ah. The dreams, nightmares really, that haunt him due to it. The trauma. Pure Vanilla nods gently in understanding. ]

For now they will cling, and you will have Dark Cacao and I to help brush them away when you desire it. Inevitably you will find one of us awake at night if you need the company, and soon sleep will come easier. Unburdening your heart helps, time helps, but so does distance. He is not here. And even should he ever show up, he will never come close enough to you to harm you ever again.

[ If Cacao doesn't break the man in half and feed him to the things in the Forest, Pure Vanilla will stick him in a Moonstone and toss him in the lake. He squeezes Clotted Creams hand, then let's go finally to take the unwrapped first outfit and put it aside, his voice gentle as he picks the other up to hand it over. ]

And like everything else, you will heal on your own time, but you will heal. Push yourself only as comfortable as you feel, my dear. Healing is healing, whether it is fast or slow, and it is quite all right to take it as slow as you need.

Thank you. Truly, I cannot ask for better company. Though I wish that none of us were here in the first place...

[ But, it can't be helped. Clotted Cream allows the outfit to be taken away, gladly accepting the unopened package. He can only assume that it's another outfit, at this rate. He will need a variety, after all, and his House Custard uniform is... probably ruined, to be quite honest. Bloodstains don't come out easily, especially on cream-colored fabric. ]

What I may need more than anything is a reminder that I am not at work. I'm afraid I am quite unused to taking a break, let alone an extended vacation.

[ He chuckles at his own expense - clearly, his mood seems to be lightening a bit. As before, opening a package with one hand isn't easy, but he manages. His forearm is braced on the top of the box, and his fingers pry it open. ]

We will make the most of it. I only hope we find a way to break this places' hold on us, and return.

[ Yet... if what he has been told is true, this is the proper home for them. Their souls original birth place. He sighs softly and smiles, tilting his head a little as he listens to the birds outside, filtering in through the window. ]

I am sure you will quickly come to realize that. Despite everything that happens, this place is idyllic.

[ There is frankly not much to do but investigate and ... live. Deal with the monthly things the forest throws at them, but otherwise grow vegetables and try to understand the world around them.

The second outfit is far more casual than the first. Again, in familiar colors, but also in a style that should be comfortable to simply spend the day in. The lack of formality might confuse the other, of course, since it's all he knows. ]

[ It's a hard truth to accept, that this place was their true home, that they weren't originally Cookies at all. Clotted Cream isn't sure how much he believes it... But he'd like to look into it all the same.

But it is idyllic. It's quaint, small village life despite the surroundings and the strange happenings. That, he can agree on. It's... nice, in a way. ]

As good a place for a vacation as any, I suppose. Perhaps I could help in the garden...

[ He always did have an interest in gardening.

The outfit in the second package is... not what he expected. Not in a bad way, of course! He would never look down on a gift given out of kindness. But it's... is this what they call "casual"? For a moment, Clotted Cream looks a bit perplexed as he looks down at the clothes from the box, eyes widening the slightest bit. ]

It is... certainly unique! I suppose this is worn more for comfort than anything else?

[ This man has never worn a casual outfit in his life. ]

I would be delighted to have your aid, and I am sure the plants would appreciate more than simply me working on them!

[ And the plantimals but that's less working and more running around and digging/chewing on things they shouldn't. The look on Clotted Creams face gets a chuckle out of him and a wider smile, inclining his head a little. ]

As much as we may be used to wearing our icing style for everything, clothes are not quite the same. You will welcome the change, I am sure.

[ Like the other, the sleeves are able to be pinned up, and certain adjustments have been made so there is ease in pulling them on single-handedly. ]

Are you feeling up for trying them on? Perhaps are a bath?

[ He loves you, son, but you're not exactly the freshest smelling cookie right now. ]

[ Like a change in icing... That's all it is. It's not so strange, is it? Plenty of Cookies change their icing style from time to time. Perhaps, this far away from home, from House Custard... Maybe he can develop his own style. All his life, he's worn the icing style of House Scone and House Custard, but here, it is just Clotted Cream. No House to be attached to. He can do what he wants.

Goodness, that soak sounds good, though. ]

I would like that very much, yes. Thank you.

[ He smells fine thank you he just needs to be in the water and he will smell like water again. ]

Excellent! Please allow me to draw one for you!

[ He won't coddle the other when it comes to his new disability, but he absolutely will fuss in other ways. Standing he grabs his Staff and heads out of the room. Soon the faint sound of the water running and tub filling can be heard, as well as some fiddling with things.

He is absolutely placing the bathing set he got from the shop in such a way as to indicate "use this". And yes, Pure Vanilla has labeled the things properly. The shampoo has "for hair" on it in neat script, while the soap holder has "for skin".

It's just easier this way, and in case they get anymore former Cookies. ]

[ While Clotted Cream is confident enough that he can do things on his own, and he knows that Pure Vanilla would never coddle him... Sometimes people enjoy doing things for others. This isn't coddling so much as it is a kindness, and who is he to deny that?

The sound of water running is a relief in ways he didn't realize, and he is on his feet in no time, padding barefoot to the bathroom. It has been far too long since he was in the water, and his body is aching for it, like all the water he's been drinking hasn't been near enough. A bathtub still isn't as big as he'd like it to be, but it does at least somewhat accommodate his tail.

Well, mostly.

As he walks in, he finds Pure Vanilla situating the bottles, and curiously tips his head. For hair? For skin? ]

What are those, if I may ask?

[ Ah, there he is. Beaming at Clotted Cream, he picks up the items and holds them up for the other to investigate properly. ]

Products for the human bits of us! While certain methods may keep the other half of us clean, it does not quite do so well with the human bits of us. We shed skin cells, sweat through our pores, and accumulate grim in the folds of our bodies. As well as our scalp produces oils that clog and dull our hair after a time.

[ Humans are so gross! He sets the items back down, tail wiggling gently. For the first time in a while. ]

Soaking will appease the aquatic portion of you, but I am afraid it will not do much for your skin and hair.

[ Oh. That's quite a description. Clotted Cream is too polite to truly show even the most mild expression of disgust, but his moment of hesitation before even responding to that probably says all that needs to be said. ]

... well! Human bodies certainly do seem to require a... special amount of care...

[ Honestly, it sounds like much more upkeep than simply rubbing your dough with flour and freshening your hair with cream. Or rubbing sandy river soil on your skin and scales. Which is what he's been doing, and it's worked just fine! ]

So, this is your way of gently suggesting that I use these products, I assume?

They certainly do! It's quite a lot!

[ Of course, Pure Vanilla has the addition of wool, which means it slightly more difficult. And he offers an apologetic look to Clotted Cream to the question. ]

I do not mean to be rude, but in lieu of sand to scrub with, water will do very little to get rid of any dirt accumulated on you, my dear.

[ Especially since his revival. There might have been a general clean up but he really does require a good scrub down. And Pure Vanilla is really loathe to let him go anywhere near the river at the moment. ]

You will require the wash cloth there, as the shampoo and soap is not abrasive.

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