Mizuki (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mooninthewater) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sticksandbones2023-09-12 02:53 pm
mooninthewater) wrote in sticksandbones2023-09-12 02:53 pm
Entry tags:
It's Okay To Feel Sad
Who: Anyone!
What: Introduction to the new building, and some ~prompts~ in the comments (TBA)
When: After the mini event.
Where: Therapy building
Warnings: the usual Mizuki warnings apply.
[ Here's your all-express tour of the therapy building! In more detail because there's a lot going on. Welcome! Buckle up! Or don't!
The lobby consists of a lot of very comfy chairs, cots, and stuffed animals. There's a table in the middle with handheld gaming devices. According to the sign Mizuki placed at the table, these are his and he will take them all away if even one gets broken. Be gentle!
There are six doors throughout the lobby that lead to different rooms.
No, it's not a room where you get your physical. Rather, it's a room entirely covered with rock climbing walls, and the floor is entirely made from trampolines. There's no safety equipment, though, so be careful! It's great for getting out physical energy, though, and Mizuki insists that exercise is a great form of therapy. He potentially just asked for it so he could jump on the trampoline...
Surely not wanting to feel anything at all like your floating through the infinite vast of nothingness and becoming one with the universe is exactly what you wanted, right? Being alone with your damning thoughts and nothing else as there's absolutely no light and the body temperature water that leaves you floating feels somehow like nothing and also like... you?
...
There's four tanks in the room. Have fun!
An entirely white room from floor to ceiling with a plethora of different colored paints in buckets in the middle of the room. There are paintbrushes as well, but it's highly encouraged to just throw the buckets around or start slapping your paint-covered hands on the walls. Make a paint angel! Go nuts!!! Just don't eat the paint. Or do, I guess?? I'm not your mom.
Upon leaving the room, it resets to the state it was in when you walked in initially.
This room is... exactly what you expect, actually. There's a bunch of books in here. Most are self-help, but there's some artsy books like origami folding and coloring books, along with colored pencils. There's a sign that states "you can bring the books out to the lobby to read, just remember to put them back when you're done."
All ye who enter this room will be CURSED to be MAD for all eternity!!!!! …Just kidding. Entering the room reveals a very homey looking room with plates and vases and tables and chairs and counters. It could be a small, one room house in here alone. All the furniture does look pretty cheap, though. There's a sledgehammer on the wall that some force seems to not allow you take it out of the room, but there's a sign above it that says "Get your anger out! Go nuts!"
Upon leaving the room, it resets to the state it was in when you walked in initially.
This room is locked. Mizuki and the Shopkeeper both have a key. On the outside, there is a form on a clipboard you can fill out. You can write your name down, a brief blurb about what you want to talk about, who you wish to talk to, etc. etc. and slip the paper under the door.
Inside the room, it's set up to be very earthy. Greens and blues to invoke both calm and creativity... aaaand maybe also remind one of the sea or forest. There's a lot of potted plants (no flowers, oddly-) and a comfortable couch and separate chair. There's a desk in the corner. ]
What: Introduction to the new building, and some ~prompts~ in the comments (TBA)
When: After the mini event.
Where: Therapy building
Warnings: the usual Mizuki warnings apply.
[ Here's your all-express tour of the therapy building! In more detail because there's a lot going on. Welcome! Buckle up! Or don't!
the lobby
The lobby consists of a lot of very comfy chairs, cots, and stuffed animals. There's a table in the middle with handheld gaming devices. According to the sign Mizuki placed at the table, these are his and he will take them all away if even one gets broken. Be gentle!
There are six doors throughout the lobby that lead to different rooms.
the physical room
No, it's not a room where you get your physical. Rather, it's a room entirely covered with rock climbing walls, and the floor is entirely made from trampolines. There's no safety equipment, though, so be careful! It's great for getting out physical energy, though, and Mizuki insists that exercise is a great form of therapy. He potentially just asked for it so he could jump on the trampoline...
the sensory deprivation tanks
Surely not wanting to feel anything at all like your floating through the infinite vast of nothingness and becoming one with the universe is exactly what you wanted, right? Being alone with your damning thoughts and nothing else as there's absolutely no light and the body temperature water that leaves you floating feels somehow like nothing and also like... you?
...
There's four tanks in the room. Have fun!
the paint room
An entirely white room from floor to ceiling with a plethora of different colored paints in buckets in the middle of the room. There are paintbrushes as well, but it's highly encouraged to just throw the buckets around or start slapping your paint-covered hands on the walls. Make a paint angel! Go nuts!!! Just don't eat the paint. Or do, I guess?? I'm not your mom.
Upon leaving the room, it resets to the state it was in when you walked in initially.
the library
This room is... exactly what you expect, actually. There's a bunch of books in here. Most are self-help, but there's some artsy books like origami folding and coloring books, along with colored pencils. There's a sign that states "you can bring the books out to the lobby to read, just remember to put them back when you're done."
the rage room
All ye who enter this room will be CURSED to be MAD for all eternity!!!!! …Just kidding. Entering the room reveals a very homey looking room with plates and vases and tables and chairs and counters. It could be a small, one room house in here alone. All the furniture does look pretty cheap, though. There's a sledgehammer on the wall that some force seems to not allow you take it out of the room, but there's a sign above it that says "Get your anger out! Go nuts!"
Upon leaving the room, it resets to the state it was in when you walked in initially.
the office
This room is locked. Mizuki and the Shopkeeper both have a key. On the outside, there is a form on a clipboard you can fill out. You can write your name down, a brief blurb about what you want to talk about, who you wish to talk to, etc. etc. and slip the paper under the door.
Inside the room, it's set up to be very earthy. Greens and blues to invoke both calm and creativity... aaaand maybe also remind one of the sea or forest. There's a lot of potted plants (no flowers, oddly-) and a comfortable couch and separate chair. There's a desk in the corner. ]
no subject
[He's still in ramble-mode, so it comes to him easily. He feels guilty, in that way that he faults himself for everything that goes wrong. He should've known better, he should've acted sooner, then maybe Elsword wouldn't be in this state...
but he recovers quickly, brain catching up with mouth. He forces a smile back on, waving a dismissive hand.] Ah, but it's still well within my capabilities. I don't believe in "incurable" conditions.
no subject
Can you tell me about your emotional wellbeing when these problems arise? I mean, do you feel sad, mad, disappointed, hopeless, stuck, or something else entirely?
no subject
[... he has to think about that one a little too long. What's the correct answer? All the examples sound negative, and it's not like he can be honest about it... he's so detached from his emotions anyway, it's hard to decide what's real and what's self-gaslighting. Is he really that confident, or...
He wheezes a little awkward laugh. This is tougher than he thought.]
I guess I'd be a little... annoyed? [??? is that a good answer??] Sorry, I don't usually trifle myself with such things. My work is very important, so it would be unprofessional to let emotions get in the way of it anyway.
no subject
All Mizuki is hearing is a classic case of dissociation, really. ]
On the contrary, Doctor Add, I believe it isn't unprofessional to show emotion during your line of work. Compassionate people often pursue your field where I'm from. However, there are closed off and reserved individuals who have long suffered through loss, hardships or other traumatic experiences that will sometimes lead them into teaching themselves how to invalidate their own feelings so it doesn't hurt as bad. Often times, a reoccurrence of such can lower the output of a brain's release of endorphins and cortisol.
no subject
Oh, no, of course I still show emotion in my work! [he's smiling, isn't he?? smiling is an emotion! he's emotional!!] I just don't want to worry my patients, that's all! I'm a very compassionate person. You misunderstood my point, that's all.
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He supposes it's not fair to just impose that on Add! He was so sure he was onto something, though... ]
Sorry, I'm still... new at this, um- let's try...
[ Beat. He's scrambling for questions again after thinking maybe he's had a breakthrough. ]
How does the problem affect how you feel about yourself? How about people around you?
no subject
He just has to make sure Mizuki is asking all the right questions... it's acceptable for him to attempt countermeasures as his opponent, right? He doesn't know the rules of therapy, but he thinks it should be allowed, so it's fine.]
How I feel about myself... [he's supposed to be more open and compassionate now, so maybe... no, no, that would sound bad. what's a better answer...? Dynamo starts to fidget behind him.] I feel... a little disappointed, I guess. And I worry for those who are affected. Empathy is an important quality to have as a doctor. I always need to be aware of the feelings of my patients, and how to best ease their own concerns.
no subject
What were the main general questions he was supposed to ask again? What problems do you face, how do you feel... oh, right, connections! What a loaded question that was, though. Technically, he should've asked it way sooner, but he felt like he needed to ease into that can of worms. Especially since "feeling connected to people" is something that Mizuki heavily struggled with himself.
Oh well, let's release those worms. ]
How connected to you feel to people around you? What relationships in your life do you consider important?
no subject
Ugh. This feels too messy. Is there an solution he's not considering? Connected, but not too connected...]
Hmm... Elsword and Chung are important to me. We are coworkers, in a sense. Not that I would ever show favouritism when it comes to my work, but in terms of my personal time...
Like I said before, it's important that I stay aware of everyone's needs. So, yes, I'd say I'm rather well connected to everyone. [???? that's a good answer, right...]
no subject
It's such a pretty thought. Be connected. Being one. Having everyone entwined together.Hhh— ]I-I, um… I guess what I mean when I say "important"… would you consider yourself to have a support system? If… there's something personal you need to talk about, or if bad happens, would you have anyone there for you that you can reasonably talk with or rely on?
[ Please talk about this so he can stop being flustered— ]
no subject
The transition from "important connections" to "support network" is pretty clear, though. Of course he trusts his teammates, his friends, but would he tell them anything that genuinely bothers him?
He opens his mouth to answer Elsword... why does that name keep coming up here? It's starting to feel targeted. Wait, is he exposing himself here? Is Mizuki trying to catch him in a lie? If he's connected to so many people, but only really trusts the one person he keeps bringing up... ugh, but that's unfair! It's good to keep your cards hidden, isn't it?! He's supposed to be the reliable doctor... he can't tell people he has problems, Elsword is just a weird exception because he's emotionless and easily manipulated...
There is a noticeable delay, but after panicking internally he switches gears. He can't answer everything with Elsword, so—]
Well, that's kind of what we're doing now, isn't it? Talking about "troubles"...
no subject
Well, of course. Psychotherapy is a type of support, but outside of that, it’s important to also have a system of a few close friends that you can rely on, too.
That said, outside of a therapy session, I consider you a good friend of mine, Doctor Add. So I’d certainly be honored if that’s what you mean. Otherwise, though, it’s actually encouraged to have friends to trust and stave away things like social isolation and negative emotional spirals. Having a good support network also increases motivation and productivity.
no subject
just keep it cool, Add. stick with what you know... you can give a positive answer without naming any more names. don't let him get you with his mindgames.]
I have a support network of my own, of course. The El Search Party... that is, the group I was traveling with before arriving here, I would consider all of them trusted individuals.
no subject
That's good! In that case, could you elaborate on what they mean to you? What sort of things have they done to help enhance your mood? Have they done anything that you dislike, and what do you wish they would change?
no subject
which greatly complicates the next series of questions. god damnit. he fell for such an obvious trap... now, how else is he supposed to answer but to either refuse or give an anecdote that exposes his own weakness? is there still time to dodge? he has to maneuver himself carefully, lest he strike the rocks and sink this whole operation. carefully, now... Mizuki may look innocent, but he's proven himself to be a formidable foe. using all these strange and invasive questions to prod for weak points, he should've been more cautious from the start.]
Well, the nature of my work means I've been traveling alongside them, assisting in their greater endeavors and providing medical support... you could say that they've been the one constant value for me over the past five years. [did Elsword say two or three? wrong, it's five.] Frequent travel makes it difficult to maintain lasting relationships with those who remain stationary, but it also strengthens the bonds of the group. They'd trust me with their lives, just as I'd trust them to watch my back.
Although, they can be rather troublesome sometimes... reckless, self-sacrificing behaviour, oftentimes naive, not to mention overly soft and easily distracted. I can't even count how many times we've gotten sidetracked by any random bystander plucking at Elsword's heartstrings, eugh... even without his emotions, he's so single-mindedly helpful you can hardly tell...
no subject
Isn't that admirable of Elsword, though? I've always been horribly enamored by his heroic nature. To do something like that so earnestly and have it come to him so easily… he's a really good person. Much like you, Doctor Add.
no subject
Elsword is... too good of a person. [and there's no comment for himself. Add's "goodness" is just an act of self-preservation. only an idiot like Elsword could possibly like who he is underneath. that's why...
... he clears his throat, reigning himself back in. he got a little heated there for a moment, but it's nothing he can't sweep under the metaphorical rug.]
Sorry, I don't mean to keep bringing up the same topics. [Elsword. he means Elsword.] He's on my mind more often than others since only he and Chung came here with me... and Chung isn't nearly as troublesome. He has a much stronger sense for self-preservation.
no subject
I'm sure [ "I know" ] Elsword cherishes the time you guys spend together, too. Surely that much makes you happy as well?
no subject
Elsword cherishes his time with everyone, he's just like that. Me in particular spending more time with him is mainly due to his condition. I've been monitoring his infection carefully, so it's easier if I'm aware of his other activities and what might affect it. Also, I'll admit my own physical capabilities are lacking, so he feels the need to "protect" me during hazardous scenarios, and it pairs well with my ability to tend to his injuries... but there's nothing particularly notable about our relationship beyond that. Yes, he is a close friend, and we spend a significant amount of our time within each other's vicinity, but the same could be said for any of our other traveling companions. Elsword is like that with everyone.
Just to clear up any confusion! There was some misinformation shared in the last meeting, so I just wanted to make sure it's been cleared up in full.
no subject
Is that what you truly believe Elsword thinks about you?
[ PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY, BUT ALSO— ]
I do have a few questions about that, too, actually. Can I ask why it always seems to be him you're curious about 'monitoring', or why the two of you spend so much time outside of hazardous situations versus — as you've said — with Chung, or why you've been incredibly physically affectionate with him while with others you remain closed off?
no subject
And I'm monitoring him because he has the Forest parasite, the only other comparable patient would be Nene but her condition is far more advanced. Obviously, it's better to start with the less-advanced symptoms and attempt to control them before making any attempts to reverse the more severe symptoms... Chung only got here recently, shouldn't that be self explanatory?
no subject
Don't take this as an attack, Doctor. I promise, this is a safe space, and I'm simply trying to understand…
With that said, though, you both were leaning on one another during the meeting we had — it's why I had assumed it was okay to say what I did, at the time… — and snuggling during the lantern festival. You had even put your fingers in his mouth, which generally isn't a thing I wouldn't include in "physically affectionate".
[ There's no forest infection in his mouth, Add- ]
Can I ask, too… why you feel a need to defend yourself about this?
no subject
about the finger sucking,] I'm a doctor, I put my fingers in a lot of places. There's nothing weird about it since I was examining one of my patients.
[...
that last question remains firm, though. why is he so flustered right now? he huffs out a sigh, reminding himself again to keep calm. it's just a misunderstanding... it's embarrassing, sure, but getting upset will only make him look worse.
deep breaths. stay cool, stay professional. you can handle this...]
Apologies... I just don't want it to be taken the wrong way. Elsword is... [hoo boy. he relents to the tiniest bit of honesty] a dear friend of mine. The Illuminous Phenomenon makes him vulnerable to certain types of manipulation. I wouldn't want him to think our relationship is something more based on false interpretations being fed back to him.
no subject
I know. And, really, I do apologize for what I said at the meeting. It was out of line. [ Even if he continued it later, but only because Elsword is one whole ass confused boy. ]
… But, if you don't mind, Add, could you come hold my hand?
[ There's a point to this. ]
no subject
What for? [he is not getting up or reaching a hand out. what is this trick... he doesn't trust it]
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