i. insert the 300th "thnks fr th mmrs" joke here a) The past - Open cws: religious homophobia, evangelical bullshit mentions, abusive family
[At some point early in the Grove's existence, a new boy moves in. He's bitchy, and bratty, and seems to think you're lesser than him. Not religious? Lesser than him, and also going to Hell. And he'll tell you that! He'll let you know that you're going to Hell in any way he possibly can. The fact is, Ain... is mean. He's nasty. He's unlikeable, just like his mother and elder brothers, who are trying to start a ~new~ church out of their house. Maybe you bite and go to one of their services, maybe you don't. It's all very culty either way.
It takes until Ain is nearing 18 for him to mellow out. At a certain point, everyone made him realise his behaviour is wrong. Thus you get apologies, and a sort of awkward "I'm sorry, I'm trying", and Ain genuinely trying to get away from his mother... which unfortunately means he might knock on your door one night to couch-surf, explaining that he's figured some things out about himself and that he thinks he needs to be away from home before she kicks his ass for it. It's raining out, and he looks like a drowned rat. Please let him in.]
b) The past - Closed to Livio
[During one such couch-surfing phase, and after getting over the whole "it's okay to be gay" thing... Ain comes over to Miss Melanie's with an acoustic guitar, because the little nerd boy has taken solace in music recently. And he'd really, really like to serenade Livio, y'know, if he's home, and if he's not home it's fine he'll go elsewhere he's sorry, and—
Ain gets let in and sits down on the couch with his head in his hands. Oh God, what is he doing.]
c) The past - Closed to Affo cws: well we're sacrificing him so, also abusive parenting
[When everything goes to shit, the first person Ain turns to for help is Alexi, his dear friend. Everyone is in a panic, and Ain's mother is insistent that she sacrifice him to "appease" the gods, because clearly him being who he is is the issue here, or something. Maybe she just needs a convenient excuse to get rid of her wayward son?
So, when Ain finds Alexi, he grabs his wrist in a panic and frantically points toward the direction of the coast.]
My mom's trying to murder me, and we've gotta get out of here before we get killed!
d) The present - Open cw: elsword lore
[If it isn't past-life memories you get, you might get Ain's present-life, in which case: Good fucking luck because there's a lot stored in his head. Suri may have wiggled his brain around a bit, but that doesn't stop the conflicting memories from existing, nor being confusing.
You might be (un)lucky enough to see (and probably participate in): the time Ain said "yes I can drive that airship" and crashed it, a life-or-death battle against a crazed half-demon in his group's attempts to rescue him, an amusement park full of demons and many games to play, or an arena fight gone sour.]
ii. elegy time
[In the inn, Ain remains hunkered down, purposely avoiding looking out the window until you or someone else calls attention to the "things outside", at which point he gets up and his heart drops into his stomach.
It's not shocking that Ain misses his friends — it's gotten worse over the last few months, culminating into him filling the loneliness with cringe-ass plushies of them he stores in his room. The man's mental health is in shambles, and seeing even mere apparitions of them is enough to send him into a frenzy. One second, he's at the window with everyone else.
The next, he's running outside and possibly back into the brand again to try to reach people he thinks are real.
[So Wolfwood is...experiencing. He is Experiencing a memory of Ain's that is really fucking stressful, and that is:
Well. The aftermath of it is happening as we speak, because Ain just crashed the airship that he and the rest of the El Search Party was on. It's why Wolfwood has both of his hands grabbing the front of Ain's clothes, shaking him a little as he demands to know:]
Why did you fuckin' say you could drive the airship when you can't drive the airship!?!
[If Ain wanted another Add in his memories, here you go.]
god i dont have baby ain icons (aincons) so you'll deal-
[Good news: The El Search Party at this point are all a) really young and b) comprised of just him, Rena, Elsword, and Aisha. They're not even to Eve and Raven yet, that's how early in his timeline this occurs. That said Add is stalking the party at this point so like lol, lmao.
Ain looks a lot younger. He's more wiry and thin, with blue streaks in his hair and less curls. There's a very dismissive look in his eyes as they climb out of the wreckage, largely unharmed save for a few scratches. Unfortunately, they're sans healer, because he isn't one yet; instead, everyone is relying on potions to deal with their injuries.]
I can drive the airship. [His voice is completely neutral. How dare you imply he can't drive the airship.] I didn't see you offering, Mr. Priest.
[Seems like Ain's core memories of Wolfwood are mushing up into his brain right now... oops.]
[Elsword, age 13, is very much trying to figure out a way to separate the two right now. Why are you fightinggggg stop fightingggg— and meanwhile Ain, who is Off His Leash, brushes a hand over his collar as if offended and straightens it back out.]
[At this point in time, Nicholas and Asher are married and living together, and Ain has kindof been nothing but an asshole since he arrived here. Nicholas does not have a high opinion of him because of that, especially given the kind of impression it can make on the kids, and he's fairly certain his husband would agree.
Of course, he does catch wind of his recent attempts to smooth over his behavior from when he was younger, even if he isn't entirely sure he believes that. He, too, was a shitty teenager once, and he grew up into a shitty man (he is not shitty)...but at the same time, he isn't going to be unreasonable. Like, he gets it. Anyone with eyes can tell Ain is under the thumb of his family and that was a lot of the reason he was lashing out.
...still though. Nicholas is clearly dressed for bed when Ain comes a-knocking, leaning one arm against the doorframe as he looks down at him with a raised brow.]
No.
[He does not mean this, but he wants to see what his response is before he lets him in.]
[Ain, who's definitely younger than either of the Karivs in this timeline, looks at Nicholas with his big wet eyes, penduluming wildly between being offended and being sad. He's trying so hard! Please acknowledge him!! He's sorry he implied you and your husband were going to Hell, if it makes you feel better he's going there too!!!]
Please? I can't go home tonight! Or any night ever again, probably! I can sleep in the bathtub if you want! I don't even need a blanket, I have a jacket I can use!!
[Yeah as it turns out, saying those kinds of things to people makes them not like you. Or want to let you into their house. And if Nick were any more vindictive, he might have just slammed the door in Ain's face and left him out here to be wet. Serves him right for being a dick.
But...he has kids. And he wouldn't want anyone to do this to his child. He doubts Ain's insane mom cares about what Ain's doing assuming he's like, blaspheming or whatever, so...
He sighs, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.]
...get in. But if you say anythin' offcolor in my house, especially to my kids, I am going to kick your ass back out. Got it?
[He looks so defeated as he sulks into the house, carrying his wet guitar case and literally nothing else on his person. He doesn't even have his house keys, and it's not like it matters because his mom will probably get the locks changed anyway.
At least his guitar case is waterproof, he thinks as he sets it down by the coffee table and sits on the sofa, rubbing the balls of his hands into his eyes.
Ugh. Fuck.
He genuinely ran to the first place he could think of, which happened to be the home of the two gay dudes, their QPP, and a bunch of kids. He wishes he ran to Percival's since that old man is normal.]
M'sorry, [he mutters,] I'll be gone before sunrise, promise.
[Nick watches in silence as Ain trudges inside, looking very much like a kicked puppy, wet and dripping, as he sinks onto the couch. He'll pull the door shut behind him and sigh through his nose, because as much as he could be feeling such delicious schadenfreude over seeing Ain struggle...he is not cruel.
So, after a moment of audible shuffling around in the kitchen behind the couch, Ain will hear Wolfwood call out from the distance:]
[in this life and the next, livio and ain have something in common: The Big Anxiety. following miss melanie, whose smile is as easy and inscrutable as always, he emerges from his "room" -- which is really just a sectioned off part of another room, at his own insistence when melanie told him in his couch-surfing phase to actually move in.
when he sees ain with his face in his hands, livio blanks on everything else, from the guitar to a middle-school-aged jasmine peeking around from the same hall to snoop, and does a little powerwalk over to him. he kneels in front of the couch, looking up at him with those signature puppy eyes and resting his hands on ain's knees.]
Ain peeks out between his fingers at Livio, breathes a sigh, and slouches back onto the couch. God, he's so cute. This is so not fucking fair.]
No, no, nothing's wrong, Liv... [His face sure is red, though.] I'm, uh, a little — um... oh, I feel bad, since Miss Melanie always lets me in even though I don't really contribute, that's all.
[oh... well, he drops the sad eyes in favor of a look a bit more sympathetic, less outright worried.]
That? I get it... [he lowers his voice, so she doesn't hear. (she's mom, she always hears.)] I don't feel like I do enough for her, either. [and his regular, still gentle tone again.] But she says not to think about it like that. That you don't gotta have a "use" to deserve food or a bed.
[Somewhere, waking-world Ain is hearing "you don't have to have a use to deserve food or a bed" and he's going mmhm, mmhmm sounds fake, and tossing all that out into the trash.
Current Ain is lying his ass off, though, and has no such issues with being a waste of space so long as someone will provide him space to waste. And for what it's worth, he will do chores when he's over, and he generally doesn't make a mess, just... y'know, lies of convenience and all.
He looks at his guitar case and breathes a sigh, tentatively placing a hand over Livio's before he tries to steal it back and return to being incredibly repressed about all of this.]
Haha... then I'm sure she wouldn't mind me being annoying with my guitar real quick, then...
["Real quick" he says, like he's not secretly hoping this goes extremely well and he gets to hold a boy's hand before marriage. You know, like he tried to do a second ago.]
at the precise time that ain and livio have exactly half a second of hand holding, there's a "blech" sound from the hallway entrance then the patter of retreating feet. livio promptly shoves his hands back in his own lap, under the multiple layers of embarrassment. embarrassment ogre.]
Annoying? You're not annoying. [anymore--
livio blinks, though, as if noticing the guitar for the first time.]
[ While Alexi hadn't been looking for Ain in specific - the euphoria in him meant he was seeking anyone who would do - it being Ain is like a double edged dagger. On one hand, sacrificing someone he loved would truly be an homage. To give up something mortal for his true love would surely please Him and turn his Divine eye onto him favorably, beyond that ridiculous girl child. And how DARE his mother try to go above her rank...
But then... it's Ain. Sweet Ain. His friend, in more than one moment his confidant.
Which means the sacrifice should be all the more sweeter. A true loss to him.
When his wrist is grabbed, he turns it to take Ain's hand. ]
I am not surprised, and there is so much happening, I am sure she thought she could hide it. I know somewhere safe. Come.
[ He gently tugs and begins to walk, his head turning left and right like he's on the look out. ]
[This looks to be quite the opposite from the ocean, but maybe Ain's thinking too broadly. He doesn't know how to steer a boat, after all. He'd probably drown at sea.
Okay. Sure. He'll follow after Alexi, then, falling into step easily next to him. He fears talking is going to alert something to come after them, so he clamps his mouth shut, despite the fact he really wants to ask every question in the book.]
[ The silence is exactly what Alexi wants. If Ain is quiet, no one will investigate where he's walking the boy too. Safety, security. In the midst of everything going to shit, no one will notice.
He squeezes Ain's hand gently, pulling him close, his voice soft for just his ears. ]
I have a spot I have been making safe. It will work until things calm down. I will not let you come to harm.
[ Which is true. Ain won't feel a thing. He's leading them to the forests edge. ]
[ And stop him Truthless shall by reaching out and grabbing the back of Ain's shirt before he makes it more than a few steps past the door. There's shocking strength in his grip, even without the minotaur parts of him, the power in the mage enough to lend itself like this. ]
You will die.
[ His tone is flat and uncaring, as is the gaze, but due to Dippers interfering, Pure Vanilla has risen a little more so Truthless is Trying a little more. Just a bit. ]
[It's a good thing that Truthless retains that similar strength, because Ain would have squirmed away if he thought he could. Outside, the apparitions seem to gaze at him, and his heart seizes in his throat.]
But people are out there, [he protests weakly,] and maybe they're real this time.
[ His soul jam, hidden on his chest, invisible to those without the eyes to see it, allows him to see the Deceit. But he's staring out the door, his fist knotted into Ain's clothes to keep him secure. ]
They're nothing but wisps, lies born out of memories. Smoke and mirrors, meant to lure you in. Do not fall for it.
[The Ain is secured. He will go nowhere, even though the look in his eyes says he wants to.]
But— [But this fake, emotionless version of Mr. Sheep is right.] —If it were your memories out there, wouldn't you also want to double-check? Just to make sure?
[ It's hard to tell if that's the truth or not with his flat expression, but his grip tightens just a little. ]
You would only create problems for others, as they would then have to go out after you to fetch you out.
[ Cruel, and he tugs at Ain to get him to come back inside. Into warmth and safety. He's not looking at Ain though, he's looking at the memories. People he's known and lost, lives lived and passed. It hurts. ]
mind the cws please-
a) The past - Open
cws: religious homophobia, evangelical bullshit mentions, abusive family
b) The past - Closed to Livio
c) The past - Closed to Affo
cws: well we're sacrificing him so, also abusive parenting
d) The present - Open
cw: elsword lore
ii. elegy time
D | I'm gonna multitag but this one first
Well. The aftermath of it is happening as we speak, because Ain just crashed the airship that he and the rest of the El Search Party was on. It's why Wolfwood has both of his hands grabbing the front of Ain's clothes, shaking him a little as he demands to know:]
Why did you fuckin' say you could drive the airship when you can't drive the airship!?!
[If Ain wanted another Add in his memories, here you go.]
god i dont have baby ain icons (aincons) so you'll deal-
Ain looks a lot younger. He's more wiry and thin, with blue streaks in his hair and less curls. There's a very dismissive look in his eyes as they climb out of the wreckage, largely unharmed save for a few scratches. Unfortunately, they're sans healer, because he isn't one yet; instead, everyone is relying on potions to deal with their injuries.]
I can drive the airship. [His voice is completely neutral. How dare you imply he can't drive the airship.] I didn't see you offering, Mr. Priest.
[Seems like Ain's core memories of Wolfwood are mushing up into his brain right now... oops.]
its ok I can pretend
[Wolfwood lets Ain go harshly after that, his teeth grit so hard it looks like he's going to pop a blood vessel in a second here.]
I didn't offer 'cause I don't know how to drive one! Maybe you should learn a thing or two, haah!?
[God, he hates how indifferent Ain is so much. He is going to scream.
(He is already screaming)]
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Did you die?
[GIRL]
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I'm gonna kill him.
[Then, to Ain:]
You're gonna be dead when I kill you.
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Wolfwood-hyung! Ain probably didn't mean to crash it!
[Ain continues to look at Wolfwood just. Completely flat. No emotion whatsoever.]
I'd be happy to leave you in the wreckage to be gut by the next round of bandits that come through this area, since you're acting just as barbaric.
Ain!!!!
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i had to open the elwiki for this yw
heheheee Im special
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A | and now for the past
Of course, he does catch wind of his recent attempts to smooth over his behavior from when he was younger, even if he isn't entirely sure he believes that. He, too, was a shitty teenager once, and he grew up into a shitty man (he is not shitty)...but at the same time, he isn't going to be unreasonable. Like, he gets it. Anyone with eyes can tell Ain is under the thumb of his family and that was a lot of the reason he was lashing out.
...still though. Nicholas is clearly dressed for bed when Ain comes a-knocking, leaning one arm against the doorframe as he looks down at him with a raised brow.]
No.
[He does not mean this, but he wants to see what his response is before he lets him in.]
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Please? I can't go home tonight! Or any night ever again, probably! I can sleep in the bathtub if you want! I don't even need a blanket, I have a jacket I can use!!
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But...he has kids. And he wouldn't want anyone to do this to his child. He doubts Ain's insane mom cares about what Ain's doing assuming he's like, blaspheming or whatever, so...
He sighs, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.]
...get in. But if you say anythin' offcolor in my house, especially to my kids, I am going to kick your ass back out. Got it?
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[He looks so defeated as he sulks into the house, carrying his wet guitar case and literally nothing else on his person. He doesn't even have his house keys, and it's not like it matters because his mom will probably get the locks changed anyway.
At least his guitar case is waterproof, he thinks as he sets it down by the coffee table and sits on the sofa, rubbing the balls of his hands into his eyes.
Ugh. Fuck.
He genuinely ran to the first place he could think of, which happened to be the home of the two gay dudes, their QPP, and a bunch of kids. He wishes he ran to Percival's since that old man is normal.]
M'sorry, [he mutters,] I'll be gone before sunrise, promise.
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So, after a moment of audible shuffling around in the kitchen behind the couch, Ain will hear Wolfwood call out from the distance:]
You like tea? Coffee?
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cw suicidal ideation
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i figure we are. good Enough to go on now-
YAA
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1b ofc :3c
when he sees ain with his face in his hands, livio blanks on everything else, from the guitar to a middle-school-aged jasmine peeking around from the same hall to snoop, and does a little powerwalk over to him. he kneels in front of the couch, looking up at him with those signature puppy eyes and resting his hands on ain's knees.]
Hey, what's wrong? How do I help?
[honey.]
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Ain peeks out between his fingers at Livio, breathes a sigh, and slouches back onto the couch. God, he's so cute. This is so not fucking fair.]
No, no, nothing's wrong, Liv... [His face sure is red, though.] I'm, uh, a little — um... oh, I feel bad, since Miss Melanie always lets me in even though I don't really contribute, that's all.
[Girl.]
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That? I get it... [he lowers his voice, so she doesn't hear. (she's mom, she always hears.)] I don't feel like I do enough for her, either. [and his regular, still gentle tone again.] But she says not to think about it like that. That you don't gotta have a "use" to deserve food or a bed.
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Current Ain is lying his ass off, though, and has no such issues with being a waste of space so long as someone will provide him space to waste. And for what it's worth, he will do chores when he's over, and he generally doesn't make a mess, just... y'know, lies of convenience and all.
He looks at his guitar case and breathes a sigh, tentatively placing a hand over Livio's before he tries to steal it back and return to being incredibly repressed about all of this.]
Haha... then I'm sure she wouldn't mind me being annoying with my guitar real quick, then...
["Real quick" he says, like he's not secretly hoping this goes extremely well and he gets to hold a boy's hand before marriage. You know, like he tried to do a second ago.]
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at the precise time that ain and livio have exactly half a second of hand holding, there's a "blech" sound from the hallway entrance then the patter of retreating feet. livio promptly shoves his hands back in his own lap, under the multiple layers of embarrassment. embarrassment ogre.]
Annoying? You're not annoying. [anymore--
livio blinks, though, as if noticing the guitar for the first time.]
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obligatory sorry i died
obligatory no i love u
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1c
But then... it's Ain. Sweet Ain. His friend, in more than one moment his confidant.
Which means the sacrifice should be all the more sweeter. A true loss to him.
When his wrist is grabbed, he turns it to take Ain's hand. ]
I am not surprised, and there is so much happening, I am sure she thought she could hide it. I know somewhere safe. Come.
[ He gently tugs and begins to walk, his head turning left and right like he's on the look out. ]
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[This looks to be quite the opposite from the ocean, but maybe Ain's thinking too broadly. He doesn't know how to steer a boat, after all. He'd probably drown at sea.
Okay. Sure. He'll follow after Alexi, then, falling into step easily next to him. He fears talking is going to alert something to come after them, so he clamps his mouth shut, despite the fact he really wants to ask every question in the book.]
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He squeezes Ain's hand gently, pulling him close, his voice soft for just his ears. ]
I have a spot I have been making safe. It will work until things calm down. I will not let you come to harm.
[ Which is true. Ain won't feel a thing. He's leading them to the forests edge. ]
d.ii
You will die.
[ His tone is flat and uncaring, as is the gaze, but due to Dippers interfering, Pure Vanilla has risen a little more so Truthless is Trying a little more. Just a bit. ]
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But people are out there, [he protests weakly,] and maybe they're real this time.
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[ His soul jam, hidden on his chest, invisible to those without the eyes to see it, allows him to see the Deceit. But he's staring out the door, his fist knotted into Ain's clothes to keep him secure. ]
They're nothing but wisps, lies born out of memories. Smoke and mirrors, meant to lure you in. Do not fall for it.
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But— [But this fake, emotionless version of Mr. Sheep is right.] —If it were your memories out there, wouldn't you also want to double-check? Just to make sure?
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[ It's hard to tell if that's the truth or not with his flat expression, but his grip tightens just a little. ]
You would only create problems for others, as they would then have to go out after you to fetch you out.
[ Cruel, and he tugs at Ain to get him to come back inside. Into warmth and safety. He's not looking at Ain though, he's looking at the memories. People he's known and lost, lives lived and passed. It hurts. ]
Come inside.