Entry tags:

It's Okay To Feel Sad

Who: Anyone!
What: Introduction to the new building, and some ~prompts~ in the comments (TBA)
When: After the mini event.
Where: Therapy building
Warnings: the usual Mizuki warnings apply.

[ Here's your all-express tour of the therapy building! In more detail because there's a lot going on. Welcome! Buckle up! Or don't!

the lobby

The lobby consists of a lot of very comfy chairs, cots, and stuffed animals. There's a table in the middle with handheld gaming devices. According to the sign Mizuki placed at the table, these are his and he will take them all away if even one gets broken. Be gentle!

There are six doors throughout the lobby that lead to different rooms.

the physical room

No, it's not a room where you get your physical. Rather, it's a room entirely covered with rock climbing walls, and the floor is entirely made from trampolines. There's no safety equipment, though, so be careful! It's great for getting out physical energy, though, and Mizuki insists that exercise is a great form of therapy. He potentially just asked for it so he could jump on the trampoline...

the sensory deprivation tanks

Surely not wanting to feel anything at all like your floating through the infinite vast of nothingness and becoming one with the universe is exactly what you wanted, right? Being alone with your damning thoughts and nothing else as there's absolutely no light and the body temperature water that leaves you floating feels somehow like nothing and also like... you?

...

There's four tanks in the room. Have fun!

the paint room

An entirely white room from floor to ceiling with a plethora of different colored paints in buckets in the middle of the room. There are paintbrushes as well, but it's highly encouraged to just throw the buckets around or start slapping your paint-covered hands on the walls. Make a paint angel! Go nuts!!! Just don't eat the paint. Or do, I guess?? I'm not your mom.

Upon leaving the room, it resets to the state it was in when you walked in initially.

the library

This room is... exactly what you expect, actually. There's a bunch of books in here. Most are self-help, but there's some artsy books like origami folding and coloring books, along with colored pencils. There's a sign that states "you can bring the books out to the lobby to read, just remember to put them back when you're done."

the rage room

All ye who enter this room will be CURSED to be MAD for all eternity!!!!! …Just kidding. Entering the room reveals a very homey looking room with plates and vases and tables and chairs and counters. It could be a small, one room house in here alone. All the furniture does look pretty cheap, though. There's a sledgehammer on the wall that some force seems to not allow you take it out of the room, but there's a sign above it that says "Get your anger out! Go nuts!"

Upon leaving the room, it resets to the state it was in when you walked in initially.

the office

This room is locked. Mizuki and the Shopkeeper both have a key. On the outside, there is a form on a clipboard you can fill out. You can write your name down, a brief blurb about what you want to talk about, who you wish to talk to, etc. etc. and slip the paper under the door.

Inside the room, it's set up to be very earthy. Greens and blues to invoke both calm and creativity... aaaand maybe also remind one of the sea or forest. There's a lot of potted plants (no flowers, oddly-) and a comfortable couch and separate chair. There's a desk in the corner. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He will not escape. Mostly because Mizuki is a clingy bitch then anything else. How fitting that the two heroes both have come to scope this place out. To explore and make sure things are in order, no doubt, but he hopes they're happy with it. "What a good idea, Mizuki."

No one's ever said that before, though... ]

Doctor Add!!! [ !!!!!! ] Yes! I mean. Sort of~? I intend to share it with others as needed. The Shopkeeper said he'd be interested, after all. But I figure it'll also be nice for other people interested in doing psychotherapy!

Psychotherapy...? [repeating it like it'll make more sense that way... unfortunately, actual therapy doesn't exist in Elrios because they keep sending the kids off to war instead of funding the education system. Add frowns, looking down at the clipboard again.]

Like... brain surgery? No, there's no equipment for that here... psycho-therapy... hmm...

No, no. Therapy usually helps with the healing process of certain things, it doesn't usually involve surgery or anything like that. I'm not nearly so smart as to be able to do anything like that or… really anything you can do, Doctor Add~.

But, I do know all sorts of psychology stuff. The human brain is absolutely fascinating to me. How people think, how they feel, why people react certain ways to certain things, what gives a person resilience, a will to live, a want to keep going, having goals, dreams, fears, pain, and how they react to each other. There's really nothing more exciting than that, for me~.

Oh, but, I'm rambling. Would you like to give it a go with me? It would really help me out, I'm still learning, so it'll be nice to have some practice with a friend.

[ He's asking, but there's a tendril that's already shutting the door, so is it really asking… ]

Ah, I see. [! he gets it now. it's so obvious—] Manipulation of human behavior... so, that's also a topic you're interested in?

[he... sort of(?) gets it.

even if all the rooms still don't make much sense to him... maybe it's just a very experimental kind of science? who knows what kind of fucked up stuff you could do to someone will a room full of stuffed animals.]

Kukuku... I'm afraid I can't let you into my mind, but I'm curious about your methods. What sort of techniques do you use for this "therapy"? Healing process... do you plan to manipulate others into letting go of their troubles? How noble.

Manipulation… I guess maybe… a little bit? It's more a… intense guidance, I think.

…

That just sounds like manipulation, too, though, doesn't it— [ Uh- ] I would say it's a little less forceful, I think. Psychotherapy is usually just done by talking with someone. Asking them questions, having them tell you about things that are bothering them, giving them advice or making them realize things about themselves that will help them make adjustments to their lives to suit themselves for. So I suppose "manipulate others into letting go of their troubles" isn't too far off.

Like, for example, when I met with my therapist back home for the first time, she would generally lead with broad questions like "What are the things or people in your life that are causing problems for you?" or "How would you define the biggest challenge for you right now?" and then go into more specific stuff after.

So it's done just through talking? Hm...

[... well, it's not that much different from how he's "manipulated" the El Search Party, isn't it? So he can respect it as a valid science. He's never thought about using it like that, though. Maybe it's because his logical mind is already so good at figuring these things out himself, he has a hard time seeing things from a lesser, non-scientific perspective?

He nods along with his own train of thought. Yeah, that's definitely it. He's too smart, so he just solves everything with logic instead...]

So you ask questions... and then what? You phrase them in a way to manipulate their next answer? That seems... hrmm. [He doesn't want to be manipulated, but how else can he see it in action? Truly a dilemma. He frowns, struggling with the temptation to be psychoanalyzed by a jellyfish.] It's difficult to analyze without seeing the brain activity, but I can see how that might work... if you know all the right questions to ask...

Ehehe… I don’t think you quite grasp it yet… Maybe I’m just not very good at explaining things…

[ He takes a seat on his chair, gesturing to the couch for Add. ]

Let’s start with something simple first. What’s been on your mind frequently as of late, Doctor Add?

[There's something subtly terrifying about that innocent question. Add stares for a moment, hesitating... but now his curiosity is too great to simply ignore it.

Try and manipulate him, will you...? He cracks a smile, edges sharp. Fine then. He'll show Mizuki the power of his infallible, impenetrable logic...!]

There are a lot of things on my mind. [taking a seat, his Dynamos arranging themselves neatly on the back of the couch.] A doctor such as myself is always busy. My primary concern would be my patients, of course.

[ He's not had a grand total of two whole clients! How exciting. (Are they clients if he's not getting paid? Hm.) Mizuki gives Add a very patient smile, unaware that he's taking this less as a therapeutic thing and more as a challenge. If he did, though, Mizuki would point out that hyper-competitiveness is likely a symptom of something more. ]

I see. Would you say that this concern brings you any unwanted anxieties? Would you say your clients, any individually or as a whole, bring you an unusually high amount of stress or just the right amount of stress?

[he's being paid...... in exposure!! the most valuable currency of all.]

If they were unwanted anxieties, I wouldn't choose to be a doctor, don't you think? Though I do wish Elsword would be more careful sometimes. I'm sure you've noticed by now that he's a handful, kuku.

I'll admit it's a stressful job, but I don't mind it. I enjoy the challenge of the work and the satisfaction of helping others. That's all I need, really.

[he is calm. relaxed. unflappable. totally in control. he's pretty sure he's winning right now (at therapy).]

[ He might be relaxed and calm, but he totally brought up Elsword completely unprompted and Mizuki sees you, Add. ]

I can't say I have noticed. Would you mind elaborating a bit more on that?

[ He can't just let the slide, please— ]

On Elsword?

[that catches him off guard... what's his angle?? his placid smile falters, but only for a split second. he has to hold the front lines, no matter what. he will not lose this battle of wits.]

Ah, well, it's nothing new. He's a selfless person by nature, so I'm usually the one trying to keep him in line. He overestimates his abilities too often... he nearly jumped into lava trying to save someone last time. His body's regenerative properties are impressive, but even if he had his full capabilities at that time, I doubt he would've survived such a dip unscathed.

[impressively, Add is still perfectly calm even while recounting his most recent traumatizing event (it's the dissociation, he's pretty sure that's healthy dwbi)]

Honestly, he could probably keep me in business all by himself. He's lucky I'm not charging him.

[ Mizuki nods, fully listening to what Add has to say on the matter. He's making mental notes on everything he can, which is quite the feat, really. Mizuki isn't normally one to be socially aware, but, at the very least, in this instance, he's able to break things down in a more easily digestible way.

For the most part, though, he's just reciting things he's read from books in his head. ]

So, he's your most frequented patient, then? How does it make you feel when problems arise unexpectedly in that regard? Is this frequency made you more alert and sensitive to the matters, or have you been finding yourself number to sudden occurances?

I wouldn't say I'm numbed to it. Danger is a regular occurrence for us, but it still makes me worry. I guess you could say worrying is also part of my job.

[Elsword rushes headlong into danger, and Add makes sure he survives it... if he didn't worry, he wouldn't make up for all the caution Elsword lacks. they make a good team, in that sense.]

Besides... if he didn't get into trouble, I wouldn't have as much work to do. A little danger isn't so bad. [but less of the forest parasites would be nicer.]

[ Well... that all tracks, really. In fact, this is sort of the exact response Mizuki expects out of the Doctor (the one on Terra, but how funny Add fits this, too), so to hear it from Add just spikes his admiration. Excuse that smile and brief look in his eyes that just screams how much he idolizes him. No, no, relax, Mizuki, now's not the time for that.

He picks up his hands and pats his cheeks to get him to focus again. He can go back to general questions, then. ~~Maybe Add will just naturally talk about Elsword again?~~ ]

Then, in your life right now, what would you consider your biggest or most pressing challenge?

Right now? Obviously, finding a safe removal method for that forest parasite. [you know... the one Elsword has???]

I'm more accustomed to diseases and physical reconstruction, so removing something like that... [ugh] It's not outside of my talents, of course, but it's a delicate procedure. It's proven itself to be highly resistant to my attempts, and it tries to injure Elsword whenever I'm working on it. I can't even take proper samples of the growths... rapid deterioration, communication with rooted samples... one hundred eighty isn't enough...

[... he trails off, mumbling to himself on the topic. he is, uh, lost in his own little world right now. give him a few minutes or wave a hand in his face and he'll come back]

[ He won't stop Add's train of thought. Rather he's going to nod and let him get his thoughts out into the air until he gets so quiet that Mizuki can't hear anymore. Only then will he speak up again. ]

I imagine it's frustrating to have so many obstacles? Beyond that, though, I'd like to know how you're feeling about that.

[ "And how does that make you feel?" Cliché, but it's important that they're on the same page. ]

I should've acted sooner. If I'd fully dealt with the problem when it was small instead of waiting to operate...

[He's still in ramble-mode, so it comes to him easily. He feels guilty, in that way that he faults himself for everything that goes wrong. He should've known better, he should've acted sooner, then maybe Elsword wouldn't be in this state...

but he recovers quickly, brain catching up with mouth. He forces a smile back on, waving a dismissive hand.] Ah, but it's still well within my capabilities. I don't believe in "incurable" conditions.

[ Mizuki taps his finger. He doesn't want to say "That's not what I meant," because he knows that hearing this is just as important as the other stuff. (He thinks it is?) (It's also important to make his clients feel like they can talk about anything, right?) (He doesn't want to mess this up-) ]

Can you tell me about your emotional wellbeing when these problems arise? I mean, do you feel sad, mad, disappointed, hopeless, stuck, or something else entirely?

How I feel...?

[... he has to think about that one a little too long. What's the correct answer? All the examples sound negative, and it's not like he can be honest about it... he's so detached from his emotions anyway, it's hard to decide what's real and what's self-gaslighting. Is he really that confident, or...

He wheezes a little awkward laugh. This is tougher than he thought.]

I guess I'd be a little... annoyed? [??? is that a good answer??] Sorry, I don't usually trifle myself with such things. My work is very important, so it would be unprofessional to let emotions get in the way of it anyway.

Edited (sss) 2023-09-19 16:19 (UTC)

[ The gears turn in Mizuki's head for a moment, trying to put these puzzle pieces together. He's got all these cords that aren't quite right. "My work is important" "unprofessional" "emotions get in the way"... Something's sort of clicking.

All Mizuki is hearing is a classic case of dissociation, really. ]

On the contrary, Doctor Add, I believe it isn't unprofessional to show emotion during your line of work. Compassionate people often pursue your field where I'm from. However, there are closed off and reserved individuals who have long suffered through loss, hardships or other traumatic experiences that will sometimes lead them into teaching themselves how to invalidate their own feelings so it doesn't hurt as bad. Often times, a reoccurrence of such can lower the output of a brain's release of endorphins and cortisol.

[Closed off and reserved? Hardships, trauma...? Lowered output?!]

Oh, no, of course I still show emotion in my work! [he's smiling, isn't he?? smiling is an emotion! he's emotional!!] I just don't want to worry my patients, that's all! I'm a very compassionate person. You misunderstood my point, that's all.

Oh, I... wasn't trying to imply anything... [ Or maybe he was? He just kind of got excitedly ramble-y there for a second. Brains are so cool and how they function and the things they do when you have trauma and hysteria is always a very fun thing for him to explore.

He supposes it's not fair to just impose that on Add! He was so sure he was onto something, though... ]

Sorry, I'm still... new at this, um- let's try...

[ Beat. He's scrambling for questions again after thinking maybe he's had a breakthrough. ]

How does the problem affect how you feel about yourself? How about people around you?

[Right, right, he shouldn't be so harsh on Mizuki... he's just a beginner! So it's natural he'll make some incorrect judgments. That's definitely what's going on here. Add's smile settles back into place, content in the belief that the current battle is still in his favor.

He just has to make sure Mizuki is asking all the right questions... it's acceptable for him to attempt countermeasures as his opponent, right? He doesn't know the rules of therapy, but he thinks it should be allowed, so it's fine.]

How I feel about myself... [he's supposed to be more open and compassionate now, so maybe... no, no, that would sound bad. what's a better answer...? Dynamo starts to fidget behind him.] I feel... a little disappointed, I guess. And I worry for those who are affected. Empathy is an important quality to have as a doctor. I always need to be aware of the feelings of my patients, and how to best ease their own concerns.

[ That all tracks, too. Hm. Maybe Add is winning at therapy--

What were the main general questions he was supposed to ask again? What problems do you face, how do you feel... oh, right, connections! What a loaded question that was, though. Technically, he should've asked it way sooner, but he felt like he needed to ease into that can of worms. Especially since "feeling connected to people" is something that Mizuki heavily struggled with himself.

Oh well, let's release those worms. ]

How connected to you feel to people around you? What relationships in your life do you consider important?

the lobby

the physical room

the sensory deprivation tanks

the paint room

the library

the rage room

the office

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