sticksandbones

🤡

Who: Allen + You!
What: Holy clown boy coming to a Grove near you!
When: Beginning of March
Where: ??? Around
Warnings: None yet, will be in headers as the pop up.

I. I've tasted all your sin (Forest entrance)

[ There is, perhaps, not a single person who would say arriving in the Grove isn't jarring. Some woke up here from their own slumber back home, and that is perhaps the smoothest transition you can get, even even that has yet to be graceful. For Allen, one moment he's holding the hand of his friend, trying to wake him up from what he could only assume was a horrific coma, and then next he's... here. His hand clasps in on itself, and he's suddenly looking around in a panic. He knew that the place he'd ended up may very well kick him out of his consciousness. May lend just the right amount of strength for Nea to pull him out of the "driver's seat", so to speak, but... is that what's happening now? Now, when he was so close to saving his friend?

No.

No, no, no.

The panic sets in as he darts from out of the trees, attempting to look for something, anything that might help him figure out how to get back. It's once he gets into the Grove proper that his eye activates. He has his own questions about that - if he's not in control, where is that coming from? What would his eye see... in his own head? Before he can ponder it for too long, he at least gets one of his answers. What does his eye see? Well.

Death.

It's the first time Allen's seeing souls not attached to something else, but Allen doesn't have time to process that part. Rather, he is trying to remember how to breathe again, because as of now, seeing the horrible visions in front of him - death of his friends, of those he loves, of a fire that isn't really there - all has the air he's trying to get out caught in his throat. It's only once his eye deactivates, the sclera turning from black to white and the red of his eye back to a silvery gray, does he finally have some kind of reprieve from the overwhelm. It's not much. The panic has only gotten worse, after all.

He falls to his knees, gasping for air as if he'd been held underwater for too long. ]

II. You've lost your appetite (for sacrifice) (Timcanpy, the Inn)

[ Timcanpy is a little golden golem. He is here! He isn't sure why he's here, but he is! How exciting! He's gonna...! He's...!!!

...

Where is this!!!!!!!!!! He is going to float out of the inn room he Spawned(tm) in and??? chew on the first person he sees. Hello. ]

III. How can we terminate this parasite (Around the Grove)

[ Fortunately, although the panic attack hits Allen like a train, the fact that he's so fucking hungry does as well. Which means... this is definitely his body. He's not stuck in his head. That's?? Good. Probably. Well, it's not good that he doesn't know where he is, but it's good he's still Him. Does this make sense? No. It doesn't. Fuck, he's SO hungry-

He will very hastily try to find the first person he can and catch their attention with a friendly wave of his normal-looking hand, and in a thick, British accent: ] Cheers! Uh, I have a lot of questions, but... most important, do you know where a bloke might find some food? Preferably, a lot of it?

...

Oh, also, what is that? [ He's, uh, pointing at Moder. ]

IV. If you keep digging up the Host? (Wildcard)
HMU if you wanna do something else pls I have such a strong muse for my baby boy I'm gonna be SO annoying-

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's what's most important, isn't it? Food is meant to be enjoyed. Any other meaning it might have is secondary.

[Like, idk. Making sure you stay alive maybe.]

Allen makes a good point, though.

[Anyway, he once again is showing off his handiwork as he slices the veggies with expert knife cuts, the correct form so he doesn't chop off a finger, the whole nine yards. Once he's sliced a decent amount, he'll slide half over to where Kanda is presumably doing the same.]

You'd love tang yuan, Beansprout.

[He just gets that vibe... most Lunar New Year foods are all symbolic of fortune and somehow he feels like Allen would eat his weight in tang yuan and then go comatose for an hour.

Anyway, Kanda is slower at choppies on account of not being a pro chef all the damn time, thanks. If he wanted this to look nasty he'd just go ham like he does with Mugen but that is not an option and the cutting board would also die, so! Veggies is choppies. Ingredients are mixed in the pan to make stir fry. Kanda is explaining how to stir fry.

The boys are getting along :)]

[Fry is stirring, noodles is frying, etc. They are doing, they are!! Getting along for once in their lives, it's a Christmas miracle.]

The temperature is harder to control on an open flame, so you'll have to be the judge of how long and how direct the heat needs to be here.

[The frying is a bit easier, since all you have to do is keep an eye on it and pull it when the noodles are golden brown. The rest might be a little trickier. Gotta keep it moving so it doesn't burn, after all.]

Yeah, I can watch it.

[They don't have long left on the noodles anyway, realistically, and those can sit out and cool while the stirs are frying. Kanda will do that part, pulling them out with a spoon and making sure that they're going to hold their shape as they're left out to become not scorching hot.

The food is starting to smell good, too, which means they're probably about to hear Allen's stomach growling from halfway across the beach.]

Maybe... two more minutes, and it should be cooked through.

[The shrimps are looking quite opaque and curled, which is good! That's what you want from shrimps.]

You hear that, Allen?

[Link calls to Allen across the sand, who can undoubtedly smell things from here.]

I've been listening!!!! Food!!!!!! [ Thanks, Allen.

He gets up, though, patting himself off. For the time he spent on the castle, it's truly nothing to write home about, but at least it's home to one gummy seagull. If he hadn't spent half of his time staring blankly out at the ocean and rubbing one side of a wall absent-mindedly, he might have done something better. Alas.

He walks over to where Tim has half buried himself, grabbing his tail to pull him out of the sand. He is holding onto a weird crepe crab with his teeth??? Tim. Please. Stop bothering the creatures. Allen will coax Tim to let go so he can join the other two by the fire.

He thinks he... has this. He thinks he knows! He's been preparing. He has a plan.

...

Hopefully! ]

[...Tim... why are you so hungry, buddy...

Kanda will generally explain to Link how to put the stir fry in the little bowls, which is basically "scoop it and put it in there but don't overfill it", so standard stuff. They're small and cute, like a medium-ish fruit tart in size, and that means Allen will eat a fucking million of them.

Good job on dinner boys, you did it!]

I don't finesse things like you, so I can't really teach you how to make sushi or anything. But if you ever wanted to learn how to make various soba dishes, I've got that covered.

[of course you fucking do]

Anyway, Beansprout, you eat this with a utensil. [Before you start trying to deepthroat them in one bite,]

Allen-

I would love to learn. If you do well on your homework, I'll make you any soba dish you'd like.

[Smiles!!!

Anyway yes Allen come here it's foob time.]

Careful, it's hot.

[ROLLING his eyes.]

I don't need your help making it, I'm offering to teach you something new. [He's rescinding his olive branch FUCK you he hopes you explode.] If you wanted me to do well at English then the founders of English wouldn't make English like that.

[ok fair]

[ It's okay, Allen. You've been thinking hard thoughts about this. You've been doing so good. Surely, after staring at the ocean for an hour, he knows at least a rough outline of what he's going to say to Link. He is going to ease him into this. He's going to give the conversation time to organically fall into telling Link what's going on so it's not overly jarring. Surely, he's done this.

Realistically, Allen doesn't know how to start. Kanda is being spicy again. Maybe he should just let that be? Maybe the conversation can talk about that. Maybe he can talk about how much he wants to kiss Kanda for doing good and being behaved around Link and making food with him? Maybe he wants to sit over by him and lean his head on his shoulder while he horfs down his meal? Maybe he could talk about all that, or do all that, and that would help Link understand things, even if he might get mad? Maybe literally anything would work.

Allen is handed his bowl, and for a long fucking time, Allen doesn't touch the food, squinting into the fire like it personally wronged him or that he's deep in thought (they're the same face). It takes him a little too long to get his thoughts on track. He has to do something before they go to bed. Has to. Otherwise the guilt is gonna suffocate him. He can't do that to Link. But godDAMN is this hard to figure out how to navigate!

It's fine though!

It's good!

Allen, you thought about this for like an hour now. Surely you have something- ]

Li, I'm gay.

[ Oh my God. ]

[Pinches the bridge of his nose.]

[...

......

For a long moment, all that can be heard is the sound of the fire crackling, the ocean waves rushing in...nothing else. Not even the wind past their ears, just this deafening fucking silence, until Link drops his spoon. It clatters painfully loudly off his bowl before landing into the sand somewhere near his foot.]

[ Allen, why the fuck-

No, no, it's fine, it's salvageable, surely. (No it's not. He can't "haha it's joke!" his way out of this one.)

He near immediately hides his face in his hand, while his mind is filled with profanities that would make anyone gasp at. He really is the stupidest motherfucker. All he can think in that moment is how he's gone and taken a sledgehammer to this friendship he'd built with Link. "I'm gay" is the new demolition project. Ugh! Fuck!!!!

The sound of the spoon falling makes Allen tense, frowning at himself. He had so many other things, so many other graceful methods he could've taken, and yet.

And fucking yet.

There's a moment where Allen opens his mouth to say something else, but all he manages is a very quiet: ]

Sorry...

[Okay, so, it's going well.

Kanda is done pinching the bridge of his nose now, but his face says something along the lines of "oh God, I have to mediate this". He has the mediation skills of a fucking cow. Genuinely, this is a job better suited to Lenalee or Marie or, fuck, even Lavi would do better at mediating. Miranda would do better at mediating than he will.

He asks himself why he cares, says to himself "it's for Allen's sake", and then breathes a sigh.]

He felt bad lying to you for so long. That's all. Go easy on him.

[Don't say "or I'll beat your ass" don't say that don't fucking say that, be mature, channel Lenalee, channel Marie, summon their spirits into you do NOT fuck this up for others—]

You can call me anything you want, but not him. [THIS IS ALSO NOT HOW YOU COME OUT OF THE CLOSET KANDA]

[This is not how you come out of the closet Kanda.

This is the equivalent of taking a sledgehammer to the face. That's how gracefully this has been handled. Link, for all intents and purposes, is a smart man...but his autistic ass is NOT perceptive enough to realize that the way Allen has been acting up to now is, in fact, him being a flaming homosexual.

His gaze flickers to Allen at his apology, then snaps back to Kanda when he basically admits to also being gay in the same breath, and suddenly Link feels a lot like his head is going to burst. His mouth works soundlessly, the thoughts racing through his mind not managing to make it from his lips.

For once, Link is at a complete and utter loss.

He felt bad lying to you for so long.

So long? So long?]

I. I don't...understand.

[Is what he finally ends up saying, lamely.]

[ Allen picks up his head, desperate for someway to try and backpedal. Unfortunately, Allen sort of made himself a nice little wall behind him. There's no going back, there's only go forward.

Just. Keep walking.

There's the briefest of glances to Kanda, both upset that he was adding to the fire (metaphorically) (not the real fire in front of them-) and also a bit relieved he isn't throwing himself on the stake solo here. There's... realistically a lot of feelings swimming around in his head right now. ]

That's alright! Y-you don't have to... do anything with this! I just... I've... [ Hh. ] I still want to be your friend, Link. [ No "Li" this time, if just because he doesn't want that to be sore for him right now. ] But... I... I have felt like a right arsehole today because I've pulled you to doing things you wouldn't normally under guise of just wanting you to have fun. And... that wasn't wholly true. I do still want you to have fun. I do like spending time with you.

But that's all 'cause I also... fancy you...

...

I... If you want to go now, I can use the Ark. I know I've gone and made a pig's ear of all this.

[Kanda is remembering he told Allen he'd let Allen handle it but he was wholly unprepared for this to be like, right now. Like fuck dude he thought he was gonna have prolonged eye contact that meant "I'm gonna tell him" so he could get the hell out and let Allen handle it. Bumblefucking through this does not feel correct but also what would Kanda know, he's bumblefucked through his entire life!

Ugh.

He's next to Link since they were just cooking together, so he's going to sort of hold the line here but also give Link room to escape if he really wants to.]

...take your time. [Also that.] We're... he's not trying to corner you or put you on the spot.

[Trying his best over here, meanwhile.]

[Okay. Um. Well.

The pure, bewilderment he's feeling right now has suddenly transitioned into panic panic panic panic-

It probably shows in his eyes as much as it does in his expression, which is saying a fucking lot since usually Link is a hell of a lot better at masking his emotions than this. It's quite a bit of emotional whiplash to be sitting down to enjoy a meal by the beach one moment, and then the next having your friend(S???) admit to you that they're homosexuals, but also that one of them likes you. In a homosexual way.

He. He doesn't?

He doesn't know. He doesn't know what to say, or do, or how...to handle this even remotely.

The muscle in his jaw flexes. His eyes tremble. His hands flex where they're clenched now on his knees because he made sure to put everything else down so he didn't drop even more.]

I....hold on. Just hold on a moment.

[To Allen, who is like if you want to leave I understand, while Link is like I can't process this if I just Go, I need to figure out what the fuck is going on here and I can't do that if I leave right now.]

How...long.

[Like. Did you start blaspheming before or after the Nea shit.]

...uh. How long...? [ Has he been gay, or liked you? He's not clarifying that, actually. Sure, he can roll with how long he's been gay. ] I dunno? I didn't really think about romantic stuff much until I realized how much my friends meant to me. It wasn't like I woke up one day and decided, "whoops, I got the dandies!"

I guess being alone made me realize how hopelessly I loved? How desperately I felt adoration for those my heart attached to. [ He looks to Kanda here. ] It made me experience a yearning that I hadn't felt before, born from something soft and affectionate, instead of something born from bitterness.

[ Back to Link: ] It's not really easy to have a frame of reference for this stuff, though.

["How long" is a funny question to pose at the end of the day. Kanda can hear the hamster wheel turning and the gears clicking and getting gummed up. It's not like he'll ever really understand; he was born out of a goddamn hole, the first person he loved readily accepted it (and was a little more gung-ho about anything than Kanda realistically was), and he knew better than to tell anyone at the Order that he and Alma were sneaking off to go imitate Tui and Edgar's secret kisses.

At the end of the day, this isn't really about him, and he doesn't like the mortifying ordeal of being known. If Link is asking Kanda too, Kanda doesn't give him an answer, merely staring down into his food and continuing to eat until he's finished with it. They only barely get along anyway, it's not worth an explanation at this point.

So he stays silent, shooting Allen a short glance but ultimately not bothering to speak. At this point he's just here for moral support or something. Be here for when Beansprout breaks down about it later.]

[Though Allen’s explanation…helps, to a degree, there is still a part of him that can’t wrap his head around what he’s hearing, regardless of how well the puzzle pieces fit together. He hasn’t even touched his food yet, too gobsmacked to really be able to think about anything right now other than this. At least the food is plenty hot enough to stay warm for…a while.]

……you understand that homosexuality is a sin. Correct?

[The words kindof come dumbly off his tongue, because obviously he knows that. But, like.

How could you call yourself an exorcist, for this long, and be…?]

[ Allen also hasn't touched his food, which is shocking in its own right. He'll probably devour this later when Link decides he wants to become one with the ocean or something-

For now, Allen breathes a heavy sigh through his nose. ] I'm electing to believe that people decided that, and that God would not be so infinitely cruel as to make, of all bloody things, love a sin. If He has, than humanity truly has no hope.

[Biting his tongue biting his tongue not saying anything not saying "yeah I'm pretty sure making kids in a lab is also a sin" chewing on his tongue looking out to the ocean. We are calm we are meditating we are not going to fuck this up for Allen we are Good we are Channelling All That Is Good And Holy RN we are so fucking good we are s]

[Link’s expression has become infinitely harder to read as they talk, his complexion pale and his hands still tight fists on his legs. It’s clear it’s a lot for him to process, not just the homosexuality, but the fact Allen…he…

…

His head dips forward slightly, gaze angled towards the ground in front of him. For a long handful of moments, he’s silent.

His gaze shifts up to Kanda without lifting his head.]

You too?

Edited 2026-03-21 04:43 (UTC)

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