sticksandbones

🤡

Who: Allen + You!
What: Holy clown boy coming to a Grove near you!
When: Beginning of March
Where: ??? Around
Warnings: None yet, will be in headers as the pop up.

I. I've tasted all your sin (Forest entrance)

[ There is, perhaps, not a single person who would say arriving in the Grove isn't jarring. Some woke up here from their own slumber back home, and that is perhaps the smoothest transition you can get, even even that has yet to be graceful. For Allen, one moment he's holding the hand of his friend, trying to wake him up from what he could only assume was a horrific coma, and then next he's... here. His hand clasps in on itself, and he's suddenly looking around in a panic. He knew that the place he'd ended up may very well kick him out of his consciousness. May lend just the right amount of strength for Nea to pull him out of the "driver's seat", so to speak, but... is that what's happening now? Now, when he was so close to saving his friend?

No.

No, no, no.

The panic sets in as he darts from out of the trees, attempting to look for something, anything that might help him figure out how to get back. It's once he gets into the Grove proper that his eye activates. He has his own questions about that - if he's not in control, where is that coming from? What would his eye see... in his own head? Before he can ponder it for too long, he at least gets one of his answers. What does his eye see? Well.

Death.

It's the first time Allen's seeing souls not attached to something else, but Allen doesn't have time to process that part. Rather, he is trying to remember how to breathe again, because as of now, seeing the horrible visions in front of him - death of his friends, of those he loves, of a fire that isn't really there - all has the air he's trying to get out caught in his throat. It's only once his eye deactivates, the sclera turning from black to white and the red of his eye back to a silvery gray, does he finally have some kind of reprieve from the overwhelm. It's not much. The panic has only gotten worse, after all.

He falls to his knees, gasping for air as if he'd been held underwater for too long. ]

II. You've lost your appetite (for sacrifice) (Timcanpy, the Inn)

[ Timcanpy is a little golden golem. He is here! He isn't sure why he's here, but he is! How exciting! He's gonna...! He's...!!!

...

Where is this!!!!!!!!!! He is going to float out of the inn room he Spawned(tm) in and??? chew on the first person he sees. Hello. ]

III. How can we terminate this parasite (Around the Grove)

[ Fortunately, although the panic attack hits Allen like a train, the fact that he's so fucking hungry does as well. Which means... this is definitely his body. He's not stuck in his head. That's?? Good. Probably. Well, it's not good that he doesn't know where he is, but it's good he's still Him. Does this make sense? No. It doesn't. Fuck, he's SO hungry-

He will very hastily try to find the first person he can and catch their attention with a friendly wave of his normal-looking hand, and in a thick, British accent: ] Cheers! Uh, I have a lot of questions, but... most important, do you know where a bloke might find some food? Preferably, a lot of it?

...

Oh, also, what is that? [ He's, uh, pointing at Moder. ]

IV. If you keep digging up the Host? (Wildcard)
HMU if you wanna do something else pls I have such a strong muse for my baby boy I'm gonna be SO annoying-

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ITS THE CORRECT THING TO DO ALLEN IS JUST POUTING— ]

I know, I saw! [ So was Allen, but that’s not surprising anyone. ] But you know how he is! He- he’s so loyal to his beliefs. I can’t keep…

Ugh.

We’re friends. We’re friends and he acknowledges that and what if he tries to put me at arm’s distance again because I’m being… a fuckin’ prick.

Well his beliefs are fucking stupid. You think he's gonna make it here without having a heart attack every time he steps outside? The town priest is fucking gay. The tailor is gay. The people working at the restaurants are gay. He's going to have to get over himself eventually.

[This is bad word for gay city and Link is just gonna have to live with it.]

I also doubt he's entirely straight himself. He has that cornered deer look about him whenever you're near him.

[ That doesn’t make him feel better. He bumps his shoulder into Kanda with a little sigh, opting to find his hand to hold onto. At least until they’re to where they can pick up firewood. ]

…Link smiled when telling us he was following me for the Fourteenth. That’s proof enough that he’s willing to lie through his teeth about how he’s feeling.

Either way, he's going to have to live with it. [Squeezes Allen's hand.] I wasn't close enough to see what was in his eyes earlier, but he's the type to emote with them, even if he thinks he's hiding it. The eyes never lie.

[Spoken like a man who has been lied to his whole life and had to Guess what people were thinking via their gazes, yeah.]

[ …Allen snorts, bonking his head to Kanda’s shoulder. ]

You can be proper sweet sometimes, you know. [ It’s cute. ]

I’m… just worried! I don’t want Li to feel uncomfortable. Around me. Or around us! I can’t keep this from him for forever. It’s torture not be able to be affectionate with you now. You’ve inflicted a curse on me, and now I’m dying.

I didn't do shit to you. We wouldn't be doing this [holds their hands up as they approach that cave,] if you didn't drag me into the middle of that game.

[Realistically, he would've sat there festering for the rest of his life because he's super not the first move person 99% of the time. It's a little better now but before? Lord he would've sooner died because the embarrassment would've choked him out.]

...he's just gonna have to get over it, Beansprout, I don't know what else to say. [A crystal is jutting down from the cave entrance, and Kanda's tall ass is forced to duck.] Be careful in here, these crystals are sharp.

[Ask him how he found out,]

I told you already that it pained me to see you leave before, right? I would’ve found a way. You even left me give you a hug before! Slippery slope to having me give you kisses, just saying~!

[ He picks up Kanda’s hand and kisses the back of it, then parts from him with that so the both of them could focus on avoiding crystals and also have free hands for firewood. ]

You don’t have to say anything, though. I’m mostly just… lamenting? I just… don’t need more of a reason that he can’t trust me. Sounds like Central is doing that well enough.

And I’m pretty sure he’d try dragging Nea out of me on the spot if I were like… “Hey, Li, I fancy you”. Would mean he wouldn’t have to face his demons or whatever.

[The cave is fairly narrow, but at least it's short enough to stumble through without them hurting themselves (probably). Kanda leads Allen over to the cliffside that's north from where they currently are, where the trees above have shed branches and logs enough for firewood.

The lobster mafia is Looking at them in the distance. But they do not act.]

If he did that, I'd kill him. [Thanks Kanda. But then, he snarks:] How do you know the Fourteenth isn't also a fruit like you? You don't actually think he's a naff, do you?

…Please don’t.

[ He sees you lobsters… he is tempted to go bring some more back for food but he has to have arms free for wood… ]

Li? Probably. The fourteenth? I actively try to avoid thinking about him. But… Lavi — former Lavi — was definitely harboring feelings for him. And Allen — not me — also blatantly agreed to give up his body to him. So take that as you want to.

[ Allen is at least aware none of that is straight!!! ]

Point is, Link is going to call Nea out and be shocked when he's talking to another fruit. He's gonna have to get over it. Let me know if you want a fifth reminder that he's gonna have to move on and stop asking Jesus to smite the homosexuals eventually.

[Wood gathered. Back to the cabanas they walk.]

[ Allen nearly drops the wood rushing out after Kanda after knocking into a crystal. He’s fine! Just! Surprised— ]

Oi! Wait up!! My legs are shorter than yours!!!!!

[ And bumps into Kanda lightly when he reaches him. Playful, not to knock him over. ]

Then you ready to write Bible versus with me, Kanda?

Hell no, I'm not. Are we doing this now while he's trapped on the beach with us?

[In the same cabana... no, Kanda thinks they need to ease Link into it. Let him down gently that everyone in his life is a raging queer. This will certainly go swimmingly and not destroy the man's entire faith.]

[ Allen frowns a little, letting guilt very easily consume his expression. ]

Well… I may have… kind of, sort of convinced him to sleep in the bed with us…? And… I don’t know. I would feel like a proper dickhead if I… if I did that only to later reveal we’re not only pansies, but dating.

…

I already feel bad about doing it to begin with.

[Kanda's face says "I would be rubbing my temples if I wasn't carrying firewood". Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl.]

So he's going to need to be alright with some things very very quickly. [Like, in the next five to sixty minutes quickly.] I feel like cornering him isn't the way to go, and before you say anything, he'll probably feel cornered. Maybe it should just come from you. I'm...

[He can't do a little wrist wiggle either, so he simply inclines his head to the side.]

Bad at this and don't particularly think I can get out of Bible lessons until I repent or whatever. You probably can.

… [ Heavy sigh. ] I’ll… think of something. Somehow. If nothing else, I’ll try to make the gateway tonight so he can head back to the Grove without us if I must.

…Sorry, Kanda.

Don't strain yourself, and quit apologising. It's not like he isn't going to find out one way or another.

[They're nearing the cabanas now though, so after one short hip-check as they go, Kanda starts walking faster to catch up. Hi Link how's it going, he has wood for you!]

[Yeah sorry Allen, if you wanted Link to come along there was no way he was NOT going to find out eventually, whether by you telling him or the context clues of literally watching you two do gay shit...and even then, he is probably going to need it spelled out for him. Fortunately, he's none the wiser to the conversation they've been having, having cleaned, cut, and prepared all the fresh fish and shellfish that they'll be having for dinner.]

Ah, there you two are. Kanda, were you still going to show me how to make that dish of yours? I wasn't sure which fish went into it, so I cleaned a bit of everything.

[ Firewood is being put down, yes, thanks- ]

Hope you weren’t waiting too long!

[ Allen is, in fact, not going to bring anything up yet. Maybe he should wait until Link is cooking? No because then he will feel cornered for sure. When they’re eating…?????

Hm.

Thoughts are happening. ]

Yeah, I can. It should work with the normal shellfish. I haven't seen any roots sticking out of the ground, so it looks like we're doing the noodle bowl instead.

[Lame, but it is what it is. It's not like they have much of a cutting board.

Kanda is also not questioning why they aren't cooking indoors at the kitchenettes because cooking out on the beach just feels right, instead of being a loser indoors. And also because that is not enough space for two men of their shoulder width to work with. Although what he Is wondering is how he's going to get the noodles to do what he needs them to do being fried out here, but he supposes Link probably knows.]

It's meant to be a shellfish dish, so we can use the shellfish you cleaned. I have no idea what the weird eyeball looking fish are going to taste like.

[He's sitting down to be helpful now :) ]

It was long enough for me to clean everything, so it was fine.

[Link will start setting up shop while Allen and Kanda get the fire going, having brought some trays and utensils from the cabana to use for cooking.

To Kanda's question:]

I tried the eyeball fish raw while I was fileting it, it has a rather mild flavor if you think that would go well with the dish. At least raw, cooking could intensify the flavor a bit.

[???????]

Why not? Mild isn't going to influence anything. [Kanda will have to run in real quick to get the noodles, but:] Did you eat the actual eye, or the flesh?

[This question will determine how White you are on a scale of White to Ten, or something like that. Anyway he's in and out after the fire is set up, just to grab the noodles he brought before he sits back down. That, and some tins to form the little bowls with, as even if he were using taro root he'd need some kind of form to make them even.

Begin cooking class! Allen can sit there and look pretty :)]

[ Allen is building a sand castle

do not worry about this. ]

I tried both.

[Obviously. What kind of cook do you take him for?]

The eye is very...watery, but also strangely tough? I think it might be due to the fact the eye makes up so much of the body. It's a huge muscle for that creature. I don't think it would have a very pleasant texture, but the taste is otherwise unremarkable.

Eugh.

[Yeah okay they'll probably have to pass on that.]

Normal fish eyes don't taste like that. They're gelatinous and a bit chewy, and taste like the fish does. They also burst in your mouth when you bite them. [Obviously they eat the entire fish where he, uh... "grew up" may not be the right word but grew up. Other nationalities commonly do not do this.] I think sinew would probably ruin the texture of the dish.

[In any case, time to show Link how to be doing!]

So, you want to criss-cross the noodles like you're weaving a basket. The molds are obviously meant to help hold the shape. It's easier with taro since it's stiffer, but it should be fine since you make pastries and are probably used to this. These need to fry first thing and we can set them out to cool before turning to the fish and vegetables.

Got it.

[Link is a pro at crisscrossing things, noodles be damned. The moment he gets to work, his hands move deftly, his lithe fingers carefully crossing the noodles over and pulling them into shape quickly and efficiently without breaking a single one.]

The best fat we have for deep frying out here is butter, without the advent of being able to hunt something for the lard. Would that suffice?

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