sticksandbones

🤡

Who: Allen + You!
What: Holy clown boy coming to a Grove near you!
When: Beginning of March
Where: ??? Around
Warnings: None yet, will be in headers as the pop up.

I. I've tasted all your sin (Forest entrance)

[ There is, perhaps, not a single person who would say arriving in the Grove isn't jarring. Some woke up here from their own slumber back home, and that is perhaps the smoothest transition you can get, even even that has yet to be graceful. For Allen, one moment he's holding the hand of his friend, trying to wake him up from what he could only assume was a horrific coma, and then next he's... here. His hand clasps in on itself, and he's suddenly looking around in a panic. He knew that the place he'd ended up may very well kick him out of his consciousness. May lend just the right amount of strength for Nea to pull him out of the "driver's seat", so to speak, but... is that what's happening now? Now, when he was so close to saving his friend?

No.

No, no, no.

The panic sets in as he darts from out of the trees, attempting to look for something, anything that might help him figure out how to get back. It's once he gets into the Grove proper that his eye activates. He has his own questions about that - if he's not in control, where is that coming from? What would his eye see... in his own head? Before he can ponder it for too long, he at least gets one of his answers. What does his eye see? Well.

Death.

It's the first time Allen's seeing souls not attached to something else, but Allen doesn't have time to process that part. Rather, he is trying to remember how to breathe again, because as of now, seeing the horrible visions in front of him - death of his friends, of those he loves, of a fire that isn't really there - all has the air he's trying to get out caught in his throat. It's only once his eye deactivates, the sclera turning from black to white and the red of his eye back to a silvery gray, does he finally have some kind of reprieve from the overwhelm. It's not much. The panic has only gotten worse, after all.

He falls to his knees, gasping for air as if he'd been held underwater for too long. ]

II. You've lost your appetite (for sacrifice) (Timcanpy, the Inn)

[ Timcanpy is a little golden golem. He is here! He isn't sure why he's here, but he is! How exciting! He's gonna...! He's...!!!

...

Where is this!!!!!!!!!! He is going to float out of the inn room he Spawned(tm) in and??? chew on the first person he sees. Hello. ]

III. How can we terminate this parasite (Around the Grove)

[ Fortunately, although the panic attack hits Allen like a train, the fact that he's so fucking hungry does as well. Which means... this is definitely his body. He's not stuck in his head. That's?? Good. Probably. Well, it's not good that he doesn't know where he is, but it's good he's still Him. Does this make sense? No. It doesn't. Fuck, he's SO hungry-

He will very hastily try to find the first person he can and catch their attention with a friendly wave of his normal-looking hand, and in a thick, British accent: ] Cheers! Uh, I have a lot of questions, but... most important, do you know where a bloke might find some food? Preferably, a lot of it?

...

Oh, also, what is that? [ He's, uh, pointing at Moder. ]

IV. If you keep digging up the Host? (Wildcard)
HMU if you wanna do something else pls I have such a strong muse for my baby boy I'm gonna be SO annoying-

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…that turtle is a toaster.

[He doesn’t know what many modern appliances are yet, but he has seen the toaster and used it in the Inn enough times that he’s become familiar. Fascinating technology.

Not typically in turtle form though.]

Reminds me a little of Tim’s siblings! [ Who Kanda hasn’t met. Kanda would fucking hate Cross’ inventions. ]

This turtle is a friend! [ No Allen, it’s trying to hide. ] You are darling, don’t let them say otherwise. Are you gonna be our roomie tonight? Thank you for letting us stay!

[ Put him down, Allen- ]

[If that turtle is a toaster then what the fuck are these babies...

Kanda picks one up.]

It's a— it's a dry pastry? I think?

[PUT. TJE TURTLES DOWN. I'm leaving that typo put the turtles down. Put! The turtles. Down.]

It seems like they made a home here before we showed up.

[He’s going to try to gently take the turtle toaster from Allen so he can put it back down with its babies.]

Let’s just leave them be here in the kitchen. I’ll check the rest of the cabana to make sure we aren’t intruding on any other…guests.

Oh, alright. I’ll make sure Tim doesn’t try to eat them. Maybe the turtles will be okay, though…

[ To Tim: ] Be nice to the critters, Timcanpy.

[ Now that his hands are free, he’ll grab Link’s the second he starts to walk away. ]

Hold on. I’ll come with. Just in case you find something hostile, yknow?

I hope nothing hostile is in here.

[He's going to let the turtles be and clean off some of the dust from disuse though. They don't need three people to cram themselves into the bathroom or bedroom/living area combo, and Kanda also should probably check that there's nothing else in here. It doesn't seem like there is so far...]

...do you guys, [he's talking to the turtles,] have natural predators and that's why you're in here? Or do you just sit on the counter because you're an appliance and food?

[...]

Do the pastry ones grow up to become toasters...?

[Allen suddenly grabs his hand, Link stops so he can catch up, expecting him to let go after.

He does not. He is still holding his hand.

????]

I- oh. Okay.

[Maybe Allen will let go once they start walking (lmao)]

[ Allen does not let go! Surprise! In fact he is dragging Link now so they can both check out the bedroom. The door gives way very easily. A little too easily. And perhaps that has everything to do with the fact that there’s another creature pressed against the door fully. Oh—

Allen lets out a surprised gasp, trying to pull Link with him out of the way before the sea pancake flops on them, but… uh. It’s very unlikely. At least for Allen, he doesn’t have the reflexes that a CROW does. ]

[Looks up just in time to see this...]

Oi.

[How are they getting in... what the fuck. Kanda would help but actually this is sort of funny, so he just leans against the counter and smirks.]

Don't hurt the wildlife. [bitch]

Uwagh-!

[Yeah unfortunately...Link is unable to get out of the way in time. They are both getting dragged to the fucking floor and flopped on by the sea pancake. Get Pancake'd, idiots.]

[ Allen flops ever so uselessly to the floor, trying to kick his legs, but the Boy is slimy and it's not an easy task to do anything when you're slimy. He tries to at least roll over so he can army crawl out. This causes the sea pancake to flap flap his wings and pat both Link and Allen. ]

Oioioi!!!!!! [ Why! ] Kanda you fucking wanker, help!

Sorry, I can't hear you from under that thing. Did you say you didn't need help? Great, I'll be over here putting things away.

[He will give them like another thirty seconds of struggling before he comes over and Lifts the creature off of them. He has mercy but only sometimes.]

There. I'll put it outside.

[You asshole-

Link struggles alongside Allen, and though normally this sort of thing wouldn't be that difficult for either of them to deal with...the pancake is heavy, and they don't want to hurt it!! So by the time Kanda decides to grace them with his presence and get it off, Link is huffing.]

Took your sweet time, didn't you?

[ Allen grumbles, getting onto his feet and shaking some of the syrup from his hands, following after Kanda. You know. To help him put it outside!

Just kidding, it's to slam the door behind him- ]

Whoops! Hand slipped! Oh no! Fucker.

[Oookay byeeeee he's just gonna go put the sea pancake out in the sea (it starts swimming through the air after him). Whatever, they'll either get over this or he'll sleep in another cabana later.

He's gonna go check out that crystal cave and try to find the fucking mob thanks.]

[Grr...

Link stands up, pulling a kerchief from his pocket to wipe the butter and syrup off his hands. He'll offer it to Allen afterwards, assuming he hasn't already wiped them off on his shirt.]

Well. At least the locals aren't hostile.

[ He has, but he'll stay thank Link for the kerchief and do another quick wipe off. ]

Most of them, at least. Kanda might be the most hostile thing we have on the beach now.

...

He's wandering off, it looks like. Guess that means we're unpacking ourselves. I didn't think this through well.

[Yeah it's above him to beg to get back in, he'd rather starve tbh.

Anyway, y'all can come get him in X hour(s). They may have to find him though because somewhere between "finding out there are tiny jellyfish in the cove tidepools shaped like jellybeans" and "realising that the crabs are coconuts, you know, coconut crabs" and "realising the mafia are lobsters and that they're hostile", he's wandered off to go see if there are real goddamn fish in the real goddamn ocean.

This place is so goddamn weird, it's like a storybook for children. Where are they. Surely the fae woods wouldn't do this (yes they would).

Unfortunately (?) all he's finding are Subnautica fish and he has no earthly idea how to cook with these, but at least that's... something? And not a cake item? He would honestly blow up if that's what he was relegated to eating. He's also doing this in jeans with the water up to his knees so like y'know.]

It's fine. We don't have that much to unpack as it is, other than the supplies.

[Well, and a few changes of clothes. Link of course was also NOT expecting to be this much, uh.

Food....foodimals. Out there.

He glances around the rest of the room, noticing that there's only one bed in here. Hm...]

Are we sharing one cabana, then? We may need to figure out sleeping arrangements and pull over a few extra beds.

[...]

[ At some point, Timcanpy will float outside to go look for Kanda first. He's going to attempt to eat the things that Kanda finds. You know! To make sure they're safe to eat for babies! Helping. :) ]

Uh. I don't know if you've noticed, Link, but these places are nnnnnot that big? Besides, these beds are plenty big enough for all three of us! If I weren't currently sticky from pancake goo, I'd flop on it to show you, but... I think this is a sign we should go swimming!

...

Sorry, that's off topic. [ His ADHD, you understand- ] Anyway, it'll be okay. I'm sure it'll be chilly at night, anyway, and I, for one, sleep way better when someone's with me~!

[While the boys have a serious discussion about swimming and sharing a bed, Kanda will be feeding Tim:
- One Peeper
- One Bladderfish
- One Garryfish
- One Boomerang
- One actual Tuna wait shit fuck that was a real fish dammit—

Anyway yes he is spearfishing with a very pointy stick he sharpened with Mugen yes he Is good at it. Thank you for asking.

At some point the Sea Monkeys Mizuki taught free will to toddle up to him (they are very small) and start making Noise at him, and Kanda does not have a bone ring with which to understand them, so this is basically just Junimo language all the way down for him. Little does he know they are saying A HUMAN HAS COME. A HUMAN TO COMMUNE WITH OUR GOD. WE SHALL BRING OFFERINGS. And then they go into the sea.

He doesn't know what just happened or what their damage is until they start to bring him very tiny seafood, like shrimps and oysters and stuff. Help.]

[Link, meanwhile, is completely unaware of the fish-related shenanigans Kanda is getting into. He's instead having a moment thinking about their sleeping arrangements, and thinking that having all of them...share a bed seems. Impractical. He might just sleep on the floor, or sitting up against the wall. He doesn't plan on sleeping right away anyway since he'll want to stay up on brief watch tonight, just to make sure things are alright.

He'll worry about that! Later!!]

It's alright. For now, let's just finish unpacking, as you've said.

[Which means: getting clothes put away, their supplies stored, all that jazz. From there, Link is going to check out the little kitchen, which meaaaans...]

I can trust you and Kanda to catch our dinner, yes?

[ The fuck he is. The second he tries to leave the room, Allen reaches out to grab his wrist. ] Uh-

[ ...

This is a bad idea. Link's... Link. As much as Allen wants to kiss this man and cuddle with him daily, he is very loyal to the Order and it's rules. It's rules... so intrinsically tied to a very strict faith.

But- ] W-... we've shared a room for ages at this point. Is sleeping next to each other really so disturbing? We wouldn't have to touch, there's enough room.

If you're worried about Kanda, I'll sleep in the middle. I don't mind.

[Oh, he's staying...he stops when Allen grabs for him (again), turning slightly on his heel to look back at him.]

Disturbing wasn't the word I would use.

[That implies he'd be, like, horrified or repulsed by the idea, which...this also implies he doesn't think. But at the same time, the word he WOULD use is: inappropriate.

And also yes, he thinks Kanda would sooner sleep on the roof than sleep next to Link.]

And I do believe touching would be inevitable in a bed that size, with three people. Not to be pedantic.

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y'all left him alone so i get to do whatever i want to him

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