sticksandbones

🤡

Who: Allen + You!
What: Holy clown boy coming to a Grove near you!
When: Beginning of March
Where: ??? Around
Warnings: None yet, will be in headers as the pop up.

I. I've tasted all your sin (Forest entrance)

[ There is, perhaps, not a single person who would say arriving in the Grove isn't jarring. Some woke up here from their own slumber back home, and that is perhaps the smoothest transition you can get, even even that has yet to be graceful. For Allen, one moment he's holding the hand of his friend, trying to wake him up from what he could only assume was a horrific coma, and then next he's... here. His hand clasps in on itself, and he's suddenly looking around in a panic. He knew that the place he'd ended up may very well kick him out of his consciousness. May lend just the right amount of strength for Nea to pull him out of the "driver's seat", so to speak, but... is that what's happening now? Now, when he was so close to saving his friend?

No.

No, no, no.

The panic sets in as he darts from out of the trees, attempting to look for something, anything that might help him figure out how to get back. It's once he gets into the Grove proper that his eye activates. He has his own questions about that - if he's not in control, where is that coming from? What would his eye see... in his own head? Before he can ponder it for too long, he at least gets one of his answers. What does his eye see? Well.

Death.

It's the first time Allen's seeing souls not attached to something else, but Allen doesn't have time to process that part. Rather, he is trying to remember how to breathe again, because as of now, seeing the horrible visions in front of him - death of his friends, of those he loves, of a fire that isn't really there - all has the air he's trying to get out caught in his throat. It's only once his eye deactivates, the sclera turning from black to white and the red of his eye back to a silvery gray, does he finally have some kind of reprieve from the overwhelm. It's not much. The panic has only gotten worse, after all.

He falls to his knees, gasping for air as if he'd been held underwater for too long. ]

II. You've lost your appetite (for sacrifice) (Timcanpy, the Inn)

[ Timcanpy is a little golden golem. He is here! He isn't sure why he's here, but he is! How exciting! He's gonna...! He's...!!!

...

Where is this!!!!!!!!!! He is going to float out of the inn room he Spawned(tm) in and??? chew on the first person he sees. Hello. ]

III. How can we terminate this parasite (Around the Grove)

[ Fortunately, although the panic attack hits Allen like a train, the fact that he's so fucking hungry does as well. Which means... this is definitely his body. He's not stuck in his head. That's?? Good. Probably. Well, it's not good that he doesn't know where he is, but it's good he's still Him. Does this make sense? No. It doesn't. Fuck, he's SO hungry-

He will very hastily try to find the first person he can and catch their attention with a friendly wave of his normal-looking hand, and in a thick, British accent: ] Cheers! Uh, I have a lot of questions, but... most important, do you know where a bloke might find some food? Preferably, a lot of it?

...

Oh, also, what is that? [ He's, uh, pointing at Moder. ]

IV. If you keep digging up the Host? (Wildcard)
HMU if you wanna do something else pls I have such a strong muse for my baby boy I'm gonna be SO annoying-

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Surely the weather is warm enough for Beach. Surely. It's still a little breezy out, but Kanda would rather not be sweating his fucking ass off in a summer beach heatwave, so this is probably fine. In either case, he doesn't know how to relax and he doesn't think he's ever gone to an actual beach before, especially not for recreation. It's a good idea to put a Gate out there, though, he'll admit. It's also a bad idea for them not to stick together considering the circumstances (a mile-long page of circumstances ranging from "we just got here" to "someone said the mafia was on the beach???" to "Suri" to "various problems with magic and also their lives and genetics affecting all three of them to some degree").

Kanda still does not imagine he'll have much fun but maybe the mafia will be cool about it. There's apparently a ton of shit out there to wander into and look at, soooo. Whatever. It's cool.]

I should be fine.

[He has the obvious stuff (clothes and food for the next However Long they decide to stay). They'll have shelter in the form of the cabanas. Heimr would not let him leave without swimwear so I guess this really is the beach episode. Swimwear is very immodest in the modern era he's realising. Kanda does not typically go swimming but he's baffled by this, and if he's baffled by this change he can't imagine how Link is feeling.]

No one needs swimming lessons while we're there, do they?

[As to be expected, Link is as prepared as he could be. They've got plenty of supplies to keep them going for a few days at least, as well as more food than they probably need. He's never been to the beach either...and if Allen and Kanda are perceptive at all, they may notice that Link goes sortof quiet when they bring up the topic of swimming at all. Never mind the fact he's dressed...not in the swimwear they were given but instead his normal clothes.

Which is to say yes, he is QUITE baffled Kanda thank you for asking.]

Was anyone planning on swimming...?

[ Allen is not currently wearing the swimsuit either, but he does have it packed. He’s not too fussed by the, uh, non-modesty of it. He’s been in shared baths before, a towel isn’t too far removed from just swimming trunks.

Anyway, he raises his hand at Link’s question. ]

Oh, I am! I’d like to get a look at what we’re looking at in terms of underwater creatures, maybe… we’ll even see that snake person??? And… swimming is also the best exercise! It’s good on your joints and still offers you a full body work out!

[ He turns around and starts walking. ]

I’m not the best swimmer, but I know how. I should be fine!

Who goes to the fucking beach and doesn't swim?

[Kanda isn't wearing his swimsuit either yet, but Heimr's dad influence has reached him. The boy is in jeans. (The general store was not selling Kanda's usual comfy Chinese garb, okay.)

Anyway. He's following after Allen.]

Don't tell me you forgot to pack something.

[Link bristles a little, readjusting his grip on the straps of his own bag.]

I never forget to pack anything, and I never said you couldn't swim if you wanted to. Just remember what our purpose for coming to the beach is in the first place.

Well, the good news is, once the gateway is there, we can come back quickly without the travel~! So, if anyone decides we need to get something, it won’t be that bad.

Assuming the gates work with me. It might take a couple tries again…

[ Allen walks with an excited little sway to his step. He hasn’t had time to… relax. He’s been so stressed about Fucking Everything for months now. But there’s no Akuma here, no Noah, and he can at least attempt to ignore whatever the fuck is going on with the forest, too.

A much needed break. For all of them. ]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kanda knows. He's also mission-oriented! But also Allen cannot be trusted around water (he will go into it) so that's why he's asking!]

There's a crashed ship that someone was repairing once, a bunch of baby dragons, the fucking mob apparently, a cave of crystals, the cove... [So a whole lot to do.] Apparently there are sirens if you go out too far, so let's avoid going out too far.

[Link wiping sweat off his metaphorical brow because they didn't keep asking about why he was like hey let's just forget about swimming (it's because he can't swim)]

The mob?

[ Don't worry, Link, Allen will get you out in the water. Just you wait- ]

From what I could glean from other people about the beach, it's like... a gang... but they're not people. I think they said they were shellfish or something.

Maybe it's like how sometimes groups of animals are called weird stuff. Like murders of crows or whatever.

[As they're crossing down that giant tipped-over tree trunk:]

Someone also said there were sharks made of fruit. It could be something like that.

[Oh buddy you have no idea the things you're about to see.]

[Hm. He's starting to regret not doing more research beforehand about this beach.]

Right...is there anything else we should keep an eye out for before we arrive?

There's a lighthouse, and someone lives there. He apparently doesn't like company? So maybe if we're gonna be around we say "hi" but keep it brief? [ Elsword is there, too. He'll be delighted to know that a gateway to seeing his Boyfriend will be accessible. Allen and Elsword should be kept 400 feet apart at all times else nothing will get done. ] Oh, there's also a statue for one of the Goddesses.

[ So. You know. Something that Allen will largely ignore. Sorry, Goddesses, Allen is just wholly put off from divinity, thanks. ]

We can spend a night at one of those cabanas, too.

[God they're gonna see Elboy2 and it'll be like getting hit with the sun. Kanda is already cautious about Elboy1 visibly being Holy. Why are there two of those little bitches running around...]

From what I ascertained talking to Heimr, the cabanas are pretty nice, and it sounded like people were trapped out here for the summer a few years ago due to some stunt the Forest pulled. Apparently he's terrified of the sea, though, so we should be fine.

[...]

Some fucking "deity". [Throwing that in because he knows Suri can hear him. Fuck you dude.]

[Link keeps his opinions on all of that to himself. Less because he doesn't agree, and more because...well. Allen wasn't wrong when he said that Link was probably having some sort of crisis of faith right now. His head is in a bad place regarding...all of that right now, so it's been easier to just shove it aside and not think about it instead. You know, like all well adjusted people should.]

Then the sooner we get there, the better.

[ Allen does catch that, and it gets a little glance back for a moment. Then, he intentionally slows his steps so that he's walking side-by-side with him instead of just leading the charge. He attempts to get his attention by giving him a little bump with his shoulder. ]

Hey, do you know how to cook shellfish, Li? 'Cause I'll catch a whole bunch of those for us to eat if you can!

[SQUINTING AT THE BACK OF LINK'S HEAD LIKE ???????????????

God damn hold on is THIS what a gaydar is?? 🏳️‍🌈❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓]

[Oh, hi Allen...Link snaps back to reality when Allen bumps into his shoulder, prompting him to stand up a little bit straighter as they walk. He doesn't seem to notice that Kanda has picked up on anything weird.]

I do. I haven't gotten to cook it very often, but the Central Agency would often have fancier get togethers that called for higher quality foods, so I learned. It just depends on if you would rather have them cooked in a stew, or over a campfire grill.

Edited 2026-03-17 00:52 (UTC)

Oh, that's easy, then, we can do both! One for lunch, one for dinner, and see which we like better~!

[ Allen-

He picks up his happy-swaying walk again, only occasionally glancing around to check their surroundings. He knows this path is supposed to be safe, but you can never be too careful. ]

You're also allowed to breathe a little when we get there, alright? Just because we have stuff to go looking at doesn't mean you can't kick your feet up.

[ Looking back at Kanda- ] This goes for you, too!

Edited 2026-03-17 01:02 (UTC)

[Was he not the one who brought up swimming... well, whatever, he knows even swimming he'd try to find something underwater as if they're actually looking for Innocence pieces and not like... you know, on theoretical hell-woods vacation.

(Little does Kanda know as they're approaching the seaside that they're about to be lovingly accosted by fruit sharks. Godspeed boys you'll need it.)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hmm... shellfish...]

Depending on what we find, we might be able to do hai xian qiao chao. [It's not a holiday but who cares if it fucking tastes good—] It's a seafood stir fry in a taro root bowl. Looks like a bird's nest.

[Obviously he can help with that one.]

[This is how Link and Kanda bond. Kanda shows Link how to make cultural foods and he's like :O about it.]

I would love to learn how to make it. Do you think taro root grows naturally here?

[Allen your boyfriends...they're talking and not killing each other...]

[ Allen reaches behind him to pull Kanda closer, then links his arms with both Kanda and Link happily, like they're Wizard-of-Oz-ing it down this path together now. ]

Brilliant! And I! Will be the taste tester~!!!

[ Thanks, Allen. ]

[He shrugs. And then he's yoinked.]

It might. Don't get your hopes up yet, Beansprout. ...but if nothing else, I brought some noodles we can use instead. [OF COURSE YOU HAVE FUCKING NOODLES ON YOUR PERSON] It'll taste mostly the same.

[The point is the edible bowl either way. Like taco salad but from China and it has nothing to do with taco salad.]

I'm sure it will be delicious either way.

[Kanda we need to talk about your noodle addiction.]

How would you suggest preparing it with the noodles instead of taro?

[He's going to continue chatting about food as they make their way beachward if he isn't stopped, happy to walk arm-in-arm with Allen even though it wasn't expected...he will not be like "hey what the fuck", this is Allen we're talking about.]

[ Unfortunately(?) for them, this is a few days journey, so they will have to camp out on the path at some point. Likely with a rotation of sleeping, since, despite the road being told to be safe, the chaotic magic has made it so that a lot of things aren't working like they should. But maybe when they're actually on the beach, then they'll have safety, and rest will come easy.

Or, Allen hopes that's the case.

For now, Allen is just happy to keep them close and keep eyes on the wall that surrounds the path. ]

It's the same preparation, but you shape the noodles into that nest shape and fry them, and that's why I prefer taro root. It holds its shape better.

[Yeah, they're gonna camp out. This is going to be a cooking thread long into the night, but at least camping and taking watches are easy. No one is having noodles tonight, they're going to have to have normal camping food. The horrors.

At least the boys are all getting along??]

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sorry this is all you fucking get it's too funny tho

god bless

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